How I Met Your Mother2005

The Captain:
[At his study, The Captain talks to Ted about Zoey leaving him for another man] Once upon a time, Zoey and I were happy, blissful as Arcadian shepherds. I was Poseidon, she my Amphitrite. I dare say, not even Scylla and Charybdis could not have torn us asunder. We had great big boners for each other! But then, enter the scoundrel. [imagines scene of Zoey watching horror movie with half-naked thick moustached version of Ted]

Zoey Pierson:
Oh man, this movie is scary.

Ted Mosby:
[Scoundrel Ted] I know, right?

The Captain:
[Back in reality] I don't know who he is, but I pictured him with a mustache.

Ted Mosby:
Limit the search to guys with mustaches. Smart.

The Captain:
Anyway, soon the inevitable happened. She told me she was in love with someone else. Obviously, it made me angry.

Ted Mosby:
And the, that was the last time you saw her...

The Captain:
...but I gathered my composure and told her I'd do anything to keep her. I begged her not to leave. We made love that night...

Ted Mosby:
[spits out drink] It's damned good brandy.