Keeping Up Appearances1990

[first lines]

Hyacinth:
I heard a noise.

Richard:
There's no one there.

Hyacinth:
Are you sure everything's locked?

Richard:
Everything's locked, bolted, barred.

Hyacinth:
Did you check the windows?

Richard:
I checked the windows.

Hyacinth:
What about the garage?

Richard:
Yes, it's still there.

Hyacinth:
I can't understand why we've never been burgled. It's common knowledge that I have some very valuable objets d'art.

Richard:
Objets d'art?

Hyacinth:
My Royal Doulton!

Richard:
Oh, that.

Hyacinth:
And the figurines that were Grandmamma's.

Richard:
Yes, those.

Hyacinth:
The Wilkinsons were burgled. On his income, I can't understand how they could afford to be burgled. Quite honestly, in their circumstances I think it's a mite pretentious of them to be burgled.