Keeping Up Appearances1990

Rose:
[into phone] You're a louse! You've always been a louse! And what's more, you've got hairy toes! You're the first man I've ever known with hairy toes, Ted Butterfield, and it looks like a bad sign.

Hyacinth:
[grabs the phone and scowls at Rose, covering the receiver] Rose, you cannot speak like that to a Butterfield! Good gracious, girl, think of the bright future ahead.

Rose:
Bright future? Well, do you know the Butterfields?

Hyacinth:
Of course we know the Butterfields. We've just been there. [into phone] My sister won't keep you a moment, Mr Butterfield. [covers receiver] We call regularly at their place of business.

Rose:
What place of business?

Hyacinth:
[into phone] My sister's standing here in the grip of a very powerful emotion. You mustn't take any notice of her harsh words. It's just a crust that she's had to develop to cover her purity and simplicity. We're like that as a family; the highest standards prevail; my son wears pure silk pyjamas. [Rose is trying to grab the receiver] Rose, pull yourself together. You'll have to learn to behave if you're going to maintain a relationship with one of the town's leading commercial families!

Rose:
What commercial family?

Hyacinth:
The executive motor showroom and garage. Their forecourt service is unparalleled.

Rose:
He's not that Butterfield! This one's a total dreck without a penny to his name.

Hyacinth:
Hnh? [into phone, shouting in a low voice] And furthermore, will you kindly stop bothering my sister!

[slams down receiver]

Rose:
[cries] What have you done that for! I love him!

Hyacinth:
How can you love him? The man has hairy toes.