My Name Is Earl2005

Catalina:
[picks up phone] Nice jumpsuit.

Joy:
Ain't you sweet. Now Earl tells me that for some crazy reason, you think we're not friends!

Catalina:
The first time you saw me you called me a whore.

Joy:
No, you just misunderstood what I said. Which is understandable, I mean because you're Mexican.

Catalina:
I'm not Mexican.

Joy:
Whatever, you speak Mexican.

Catalina:
I speak Spanish.

Earl:
Well you both speak friendly, so let's just go with that.

Catalina:
Look, I'm not stupid. I know you hate me. And I know why you hate me. It's because I'm hot.

Joy:
Excuse me?

Earl:
[rubs eye] Damn it, there goes the eye again.

Catalina:
You're jealous of my hotness. Admit it, and I'll consider using my incredible body to free you from prison. But not the prison of your fat body, for that you have a life sentence.

Joy:
I'm jealous? Sweetheart, I'm about ten times hotter than you. You're a man compared to me.

Catalina:
Really? 'Cause the line on my stomach is from my muscles and not a C-Section scar.

Joy:
That is NOT a C-Section scar! That's from when my prom date stabbed me! I had both my babies naturally!

Catalina:
Then I'm sure your gatito is as saggy as your breasts!

Joy:
[opens jumpsuit] Do these look saggy to you? I could float half your village across the mighty river with these puppies!

Catalina:
I've heard enough! This was a hell of an apology. Enjoy your jail time. And by the way, your eyeballs are too big for your head. You look like Finding Nemo.

Joy:
My eyeballs are big? Yeah well, all the better to see your fat ass waddle away with!