Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Tom Servo:
This is a story about a robot named Crow. Can you guess what Crow has been thinking? Crow has been thinking hard... or as hard as he can think anyway... on how the satellite has been so darn clean. It wasn't clean this morning, so think hard, Crow. Think really hard Crow - you poor dope. Scan that scrap heap you call a brain and...

Crow T. Robot:
Hey, knock it off!

Tom Servo:
[as different images of Gypsy are shown] Oh, sorry. Ah, yes. Who does these things when we're too lazy or too bloated on dinners of rich food and generous portions of our own gargantuan ego? Who debugs the massive computer control center because our own feeble brains can't add fractions? Who provides the water in which you could bathe your filthy oil-stained carcass? Who goes on mind-bendingly dangerous missions on the outside in cold unforgiving space while you sit cozy sipping cocoa and watching Tiny Toons? Pinch yourself hard, Mr. Robot. You deserve it. You think you're all sunshine and goodness, but you're just dirt between the toes of an evil troll. That's right. Who periodically changes the plutonium rods in the nuclear bowels deep inside the nuclear reactor of the ship while you sit feasting on gooey handfuls of Fiddle Faddle and play hopscotch and marbles and spring in the...

Crow T. Robot:
Hey just a darn blasting minute. What are you trying to do, lay it all on me? You're the laziest robot I've ever seen!

Tom Servo:
Oh, I see, It's me now is it. It's too painful to look into the deep dark truthful mirror, eh. You make me sick.

Crow T. Robot:
[as Gypsy enters] I thought you looked sick but it's always hard to tell with you. [both see Gypsy] I gotta go clean my room now.

Tom Servo:
I gotta go clean his room too.