Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Hamlet:
That is the question.

Crow:
I'll take "To Be" for fifty, Alex.

Hamlet:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...

Tom Servo:
Starring Shelly Long and Bette Midler.

Hamlet:
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them.

Mike Nelson:
Ow, my shin's right on the edge of a stair.

Hamlet:
To die... To sleep...

Crow:
That's what we're doing right now, bub.

Hamlet:
No more. And by a sleep to say we end the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.

Mike Nelson:
Okay, we need a predicate now.

Hamlet:
'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

Crow:
Especially with Ophelia, man!

Hamlet:
To die... To sleep...

Tom Servo:
To SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Crow:
Whoa! That's an old chestnut.

Hamlet:
[whispering] To sleep...

Tom Servo:
[ditto] to sleeeep...

Hamlet:
Perchance to DREAM!

Crow:
The impossible DREAM!

Hamlet:
Ay! There's the rub!

Mike Nelson:
I knew I had some rub left.

Hamlet:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil. There's the respect that makes calamity of such long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, the oppressor's wrongs, the proud man's contumely... [Mike begins nodding head along with the list]... The pangs of despised love, the law's delay... The insolence of office and the spurns that patient merit of the unworthy takes, when he himself his quietus make with a bare bodkin?

Crow:
He said bare bodkin! [giggles]

Hamlet:
Who would fardels bear...

Mike Nelson:
Fardels.