Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Dr. Forrester:
Frank, I... I can't wait. I want you to open your gift now.

TV's Frank:
Great idea, Pete! As a matter of fact uh, I picked you up a little something myself.

Dr. Forrester:
Uh... For me? You shouldn't have.

TV's Frank:
It was nothing, really.

Dr. Forrester:
Oh, Frank. No, it's the thought that counts. I, I know that you think that I'm probably just a cold-hearted jerk without an ounce of self-respect for myself or anyone else, but on the other hand...

TV's Frank:
Merry Christmas, Dr. Forrester.

Dr. Forrester:
Merry Christmas, Frank... Oh, Frank! What a lovely watch-band! This must have set you back a pretty penny.

TV's Frank:
Well actually I uh, didn't have any money, so I took the liberty of hawking your Rolex and... to pay for that...

Dr. Forrester:
You... hawked my Rolex.

TV's Frank:
Yeah.

Dr. Forrester:
Well, it's the thought that counts. Open your gift.

TV's Frank:
Oh, boy! I bet it's a book! I bet it's a book!

Dr. Forrester:
Yes, it is a book, Frank. It's... It's called "Final Exit". I've been stealing your plasma at night so I didn't have to spend any of my own money.

TV's Frank:
Oh Henry.

Dr. Forrester:
Well, until next time, bumpus.

TV's Frank:
God bless us, everyone.