Pets2001

Davina:
I've had another letter from my boyfriend Vince. He says he's doing voluntary work on behalf of UNICEF in West Africa and won't be back until after the rainy season. Which, apparently, is why he can't take me out for a curry on our anniversary next Tuesday. He's sent me a photo of himself and some *slag* called Samantha, who he says is assisting him in vaccinating the entire population of a remote tribal village. I think I know how Samantha is assisting him and it doesn't involve sticking needles in people's arses. Then again... Maybe it does. When he comes back, I'm gonna cut off his head, hollow it out and use it as a toilet roll holder!