Saturday Night Live1975

Old Lady #1:
When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.

Old Lady #2:
They didn't have enough money for the funeral.

Old Lady #3:
It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music.

Old Lady #1:
What about robots?

Old Lady #4:
Oh, they're everywhere!

Old Lady #1:
I don't even know why the scientists make them.

Old Lady #2:
Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.

Old Lady #1:
An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.

Old Lady #2:
Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.

Sam Waterston:
I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular television series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of a robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration. You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time.

Sam Waterston:
[a pie chart appears, reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ] And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free... because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.