Shallow Hal2001

Hal:
See, the problem is I'm kinda picky

Tony Robbins:
What do you mean, picky?

Hal:
Well, for instance, I like 'em real young. Like, did you ever see Paulina in her first "Sports Illustrated" layout?

Tony Robbins:
You're looking for a young Paulina type?

Hal:
Well, that face, but with better headlights. You know how hers have kind of dimmed lately? Heidi Klums beams would do. And her teeth. Or, ooh, that Britney Spears girl. She's got great knockers. But she's a tad muscular. Uh, actually, you know what? Her ass would do, too, if she had a better grille. Like, uh, Michelle Pfeiffer back when she did "Grease 2". But she'd have to be a little smilier than Michelle. Kinda like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed. But not as skinny. Someone a little meatier, like Heidi. But without the accent. You know those accents: yah-yah-yah-yah. They really get old fast. You know what I mean. Someone like that.