The Middle2009

Axl Heck:
Schmula. It's our sacred day of remembrance.

Senora Porter:
You're Jewish?

Axl Heck:
I don't think it's legal for you to ask me that.

Senora Porter:
Okay. Then why does being Jewish preclude you from taking the test?

Axl Heck:
If I get what "preclude" means, Schmula is our day of silence in honor of the harvest.

Senora Porter:
In that case, Senor Heck, I'd be willing to come in on Saturday, and you can make up the test then.

Axl Heck:
Thank you for accommodating me, but, unfortunately, I have to go to a funeral.

Senora Porter:
I'm sorry to hear that. Who died?

Axl Heck:
My aunt. Her name's Betty Robinson. She was 97. She went off a bridge. It's right there in the paper. You can look it up.

Senora Porter:
[checks paper] Oh my gosh, Axl, I'm so sorry.

Axl Heck:
She shouldn't have been texting. Her last one was "Record Matlock". She'll never see that episode a fourth time.