The Muppet Show1976

Edgar Bergen:
What's the matter with you, Charlie?

Charlie McCarthy:
Well, if you must know, I'm lonesome.

Edgar Bergen:
Oh, you're lonesome? Oh, I should've guessed that. Sure. You miss the companionship of a beautiful gorgeous female.

Charlie McCarthy:
Yeah, yeah.

Miss Piggy:
[coming up] Did someone call me?

[Charlie looks toward her, panting eagerly, then looks back with shock]

Charlie McCarthy:
Yikes! Don't look now, Bergen, but somebody left the sty gate open.

Miss Piggy:
Did you say something?

Charlie McCarthy:
Yeah, well, I was talking to Bergen.

Miss Piggy:
Mm-hmm.

Edgar Bergen:
Yes, he was just saying that he wanted to meet you.

Miss Piggy:
Uh-huh. Didn't sound that way to me.

Charlie McCarthy:
Well, me neither, and I said it.

Miss Piggy:
For your information, you overdressed splinter, my heart belongs to Kermit.

Charlie McCarthy:
You? You're in love with a frog?

[laughs]

Miss Piggy:
What are you laughing at, mahogany mouth?

Charlie McCarthy:
You know what we used to do with frogs?

Miss Piggy:
No. You know what we used to do with wood?

Charlie McCarthy:
No.

Miss Piggy:
Chop it! Hi-yah!

[karate chops Charlie, but hurts herself]

Miss Piggy:
Ow! Solid oak! Ah! Oh! Oh!