The Muppet Show1976

The Newsman:
Here's a Muppet News Flash. Our newsroom has been flooded with calls today reporting that furniture all over town has been turning into monsters. Seven people have allegedly been attacked by a wandering pack of sofas at the east edge of town. A dining room table set for eight reportedly ate the eight it was set for.

[the camera pulls back to reveal the show being watched by a man at home]

The Newsman:
When contacted for comment, Sheriff David Goelz assured Muppet News Central that the rumor was false. According to Goelz, there is no way for a piece of furniture to turn into a monster.

[suddenly, the cushion the man is sitting on comes to life and tries to attack him]

The Newsman:
Scientists throughout the city confirmed that such an occurrence would be impossible.

[the man tries vainly to beat the cushion with a newspaper]

The Newsman:
Science tells all that inanimate objects cannot turn into monsters.

[suddenly, the man's cabinet comes to life, growing angry eyes and teeth and comes at him, growling]

The Newsman:
Still, these groundless rumors persist.

[the furniture monsters chase the man out of the room]

The Newsman:
The mass hysteria could be due to what psychologists are calling furniphobia, a dread fear of the rising price of home furnishings. The phenomenon does seem to relate to the cost of living increase during the past month.

[the man returns to the room, with the furniture monsters gone]

The Newsman:
But people are advised to relax, secure in the knowledge that their furniture will not turn into a monster. And that's all tonight from Muppet News. Good night.

[suddenly, static appears on the TV screen as it goes blank and the TV grows eyes and teeth and eats the man; cut to the Muppet news studio]

The Newsman:
That last item about furniture is ridiculous.

[suddenly, the news desk comes to life and eats the Newsman]