The Vicar of Dibley1994
[first lines]
David Horton:
Moving on. I have received an entry form for the Best Kept Village competition. Any thoughts?
Owen Newitt:
Yes, tear it up.
David Horton:
I beg your pardon?
Owen Newitt:
Months of effort and what would we win? Some pointless poncy piece of paper saying : Dibley, Best Kept Village.
Jim Trott:
No no no no, it's not just a bit of paper; it's a title, a trophy. It's a cheque for two hundred and forty thousand pounds, presented by the Duchess of Kent.
Geraldine Granger:
No, that's Wimbledon, Jim.
Jim Trott:
Yes, that is Wimbledon.
David Horton:
Oh, come on. We did all right last year.
Geraldine Granger:
We came fifty-fourth out of fifty-four!
David Horton:
Is that right?
Geraldine Granger:
Remember Denfield?
David Horton:
Well, how could one forget those poor people?
Hugo Horton:
Yes. Who would have believed a lorry-load of BSE-infected toxic waste would have crashed into a nuclear fuel tanker causing a crater two hundred feet wide and the evacuation of the entire village?
Geraldine Granger:
And they came fifty-third.
David Horton:
Point taken. [crumples the form] Let's forget it.
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