The Young Ones1982

Neil:
Guys, guys, guys, I think I've solved our money problem. I'm writing to my bank manager. See what you think..."Dear Bank Manager."

Mike:
Yeah?

Neil:
Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far, though.

Mike:
Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly.

Vyvyan:
I don't like the "dear." Sounds a bit too much like, "Will you go to bed with me?"

Mike:
Well spoken, Vyvyan. What do you think instead?

Vyvyan:
Uh, what about..."darling?

[everyone concurs]

Neil:
[writing] "Darling Bank Manager..."

Rick:
No, no, no, no, no, not "Bank Manager," it's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put "Fascist Bullyboy!"

Neil:
"Darling Fascist Bullyboy..."

Mike:
That's nice, yes, so far so good. So what do you want to say?

Neil:
Well, basically, I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that.

Mike:
Well, what about, "Give me some more money"?

Vyvyan:
..."You bastard!"

Neil:
Don't you think that's a bit strong?

Mike:
Ah, Neil, people like that respect strength.

Neil:
Yeah, you're right. Uh, "Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard..." Uh..."Love, Neil."

Vyvyan:
Not "Love, Neil"! That sounds far too much like, "Come and get it like a b*tch-funky sex machine!"

Neil:
Yeah, you're right... Uh, what about, "Yours sincerely"?

Rick:
Oh, come off it, Neil. If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go 'round there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers?

Neil:
Oh, look, I know, I know, why not "Boom Shanka"? It means, "May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman."

Mike:
He'll never understand "Boom Shanka," you'll have to write the whole thing out.

Neil:
Right, okay, here we go. "Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil."

Rick:
Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.