Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road2006

Bill Engvall:
I thought I nearly broke my ribs, 'cause I'm an idiot. Well, what happened is I bought my son a trampoline. Yeah, you see where this is headed? Well, you know the rule: The person who builds it gets to try it first, so my son was at school and I built the trampoline and start to go on it, my wife goes, "Hey, why don't you wait until he comes home?" I said, "Hey, why don't you hush... please?" Hey, I ain't that big an idiot, all right? So, I was jumping on the trampoline, and I was thinking, "Oh I remember this." Started doing seat drops and knee drops and then I got cocky. One thing I learned about a trampoline, if you don't land square, you go up at an angle. And you don't come down at that same angle, you go down at an equal and opposite angle. Yeah, I'm 20 feet in the air and NOW my high school geometry kicks in. I curled into the fetal position, banged against the rail. My wife's laughing so hard, she nearly peed herself. Two important things I learned that day. One, the springs will pull the hair off your legs, and two, the dog doesn't like to jump.