Animaniacs, Season 1

[Cartoon opens up in Hollywood, present day (1993), outside The Psychiatry Building as "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen" plays in the background. Scene changes to inside psychiatrist's office. A WB studio psychiatrist, is on a Chaise lounge couch]

Dr. Scratchansniff:
I suppose it would be vise to start at ze very beginning, ja?

Psychaitrist:
[offscreen, in a German accent] Proceeded.

Dr. Scratchansniff:
[sighs] I was one of the most successful psychoanalysts in all of Hollywood. 50 years ago, I started work at Varner Brothers. [narrating, as scene changes to Hollywood circa 1953] Ah, Varner Brothers, home to some of ze biggest stars in Hollywood.

[ Humphrey Bogart pulls up to a guard]

Ralph the Guard:
Ah, good morning, Mr. Biggest Star in Hollywood.

Humphrey Bogart:
Morning, sweetheart. [drives into The Warner Bros. Studio.]

[Then Porky Pig pulls up to Ralph]

Ralph:
Uh-ah, morning, Porky.

Porky Pig:
G-G-G-G-Good muh-muh-muh-muh- [an impatient driver honks at him offscreen] All right! All right! [to Ralph] Hello. [drives into The Warner Bros. Studio]

Dr. Scratchansniff:
[narrating] Und when the stars had a problem, they came to me.

Young Dr. Scratchansniff:
[to Ronald Reagan ] So, tell me more about these dreams you've been having, Mr. Reagan.

Ronald Reagan:
Well, in my dreams, I'm President of the United States.

[Dr. Scratchansniff looks at the audience and smiled uneasy, as if saying "You heard that too, right?", and writes "Delusions of grandeur, Incurable" in his notepad]

Dr. Scratchansniff:
[narrating, as scene changes to a wall of photos of Dr. Scratchansniff with various famous Hollywood celebrities, from black and white to color] For years, the biggest actors told me their problems, their secrets, their pain! Ooh, it was so much fun! Und then, just recently, I had just completed a delightfully intense session with Clint Eastwood. Then...it happened.

Crowd:
[screams offscreen] What is that?! What's going on up there?!

[The Warner Siblings are first shown at the top of the water tower, blowing kisses and waving their hands.]

Dr. Scratchansniff:
[narrating] It was them...The Varner Brothers! After years of being locked away in the water tower...they managed to escape!

[The Warner Siblings jump down from the water tower. The crowd panics and scatters as The Warner Siblings run to The Psychiatry Building, running up the front in a circle to Dr. Scratchansniff's window]

Dot:
Did you miss us?

Dr. Scratchansniff:
I hardly even know you.

Yakko and Wakko:
We're the Warner Brothers!

Dot:
And the Warner sister!

[They kiss Dr. Scratchansniff on the lips in unison]

Dr. Scratchansniff:
Eh! Pleh! Pleh! Pleh! Pleh! Bleh! [turns to walk away from the window, only to get startled by The Warner Siblings in his office] AAH! Vhat do you vant?

Yakko Alvin Warner:
We asked you first.

Dr. Scratchansniff:
Well, I vant-No, you didn't.

Dot:
Well, we meant to.

Dr. Scratchansniff:
Do you know who I am?

[The Warners are behind the game booths]

Yakko:
[buzzes the red button] Dr. Otto Scratchansniff, world famous psychoanalyst to the stars?

Dr. Scratchansniff:
Correct.

Yakko:
[jumps on Scratchy] I won! I won! What did I win?

Dr. Scratchansniff:
Nothing.

Yakko:
Say, what kind of game show is this?

Dr. Scratchansniff:
This isn't a game show!

Yakko:
Well I'll say it isn't. Nobody wins anything. You'll be lucky to be on the air for one week.

Dr. Scratchansniff:
[throws Yakko down] NURSE! NURSE!

Hello Nurse:
[comes in] Yes, Dr. Scratchansniff?

Dr. Scratchansniff:
[offscreen as Yakko and Wakko's hearts bulge out, pumping, while their eyes turn into black hearts] Get these kids out of here!

Yakko and Wakko:
[turn into wolves] Helloooo Nurse!

[Dot facepalms in annoyance. A red heart space forms around Hello Nurse's head]

Yakko:
[thinks of horse back riding with Hello Nurse] Hah...

Wakko Warner:
[thinks of driving a convertible with Hello Nurse] Huuh...

Dot:
[confused, thinks of boating with Dr. Scratchansniff] Diiiisgusting!

Hello Nurse:
Why don't you cute little kids follow me?

[Hello Nurse leads The Warner Siblings out of Dr. Scratchansniff's office. Yakko and Wakko follow her, floating in the air, in love with her. Dot follows them, walking, awkward]