Animaniacs, Season 1

Harp:
Please, we must leave before the giant wakes. Lower me safely to the floor.

[The Warner Siblings push The Harp off the table. The Harp screams as she falls. landing on the floor offscreen]

Warner Siblings:
Oops.

[The Harp is irritated. She gasps, seeing Ralph the Giant behind The Warner Siblings]

Ralph the Giant:
A-ha! I got teeny-weenies in my house! [He puts face at level of The Warner Siblings]

[The Warner Siblings panic and shout. Dot points hand, Yakko babbles and bounces, and Wakko spins, then revert]

Warner Siblings:
[calm, enthusiastic] Hi!

[Ralph the Giant picks up The Warner Siblings and the goose and sniffs them]

Ralph the Giant:
Pea-pie-poo-kerplot, I smells Yakko, Wakko, and Dot!

Yakko:
Don't you mean, "Fee-fi-fo-fum"?

Ralph the Giant:
Yeah, but it don't rhymes with "Dot".

Dot:
You know, you really should pluck those unsightly nose hairs. [she pulls a nosehair out]

Ralph the Giant:
Oow! Uh, dat smarted me!

Yakko:
I doubt it.

Ralph the Giant:
Now, I's gonna eat you teeny-weenies. [puts on apron]

Yakko:
Eat us?

Dot:
You don't wanna eat us?

Wakko:
We taste awful.

Warner Siblings:
Bleugh!

Yakko:
Hmm... [clicking is heard as a light bulb appears. He, Wakko, and Dot huddle and whisper among themselves] We know what you want.

Ralph the Giant:
You does?

Warner Siblings:
Uh-huh.

[Wakko makes the goose poop out a golden egg. Yakko cracks it, and pours the yolk and egg white into the pan with heater, then shakes it. Dot gets canned meat out of a tin container, and drops it onto tiny plate while Yakko gets eggs on the plate]

Yakko:
[rhyming à la Dr. Suess] I'm sure you'll love this, have a seat. Here's your meal, gold eggs and meat.

Ralph the Giant:
I does not like gold eggs and meat. It's you who I would like to eat. [He puts a lid over them and takes the plate to the cupboard. He opens the cupboard, only to find The Warner Siblings in it. Yakko is holding a plate of ice cream]

Yakko:
Would you like them À La Mode?

Wakko:
[lifting his hat to reveal a toad] Would you like them with a toad?

[Toad croaks]

Ralph the Giant:
I would not like them À La Mode. I would not like them with a toad. I does not like gold eggs and meat. It's you who I would like to eat.

[Wakko puts his hat back on and pulls down the next scene. Ralph the Giant is on top of a mountain during a rainstorm. Lightning strikes twice]

Wakko:
[holding out a cod] Would you like them with a cod?

Yakko:
[giving Ralph the Giant a metal rod] Holding up a metal rod?

Ralph the Giant:
[holding the metal rod] I would not like them with a cod, holding up a metal rod. [The Warner Siblings jump off him. Lightning strikes the metal rod and Ralph the Giant, exposing his skeleton. He falls off the mountain, landing on the forest] I does not like gold eggs and meat. It's you who I would like to eat.

[Ralph the Giant is on The San Andreas Fault. An arm holding a "San Andreas Fault" sign sticks out then draws back in. The Warner Siblings are standing inside a door]

Dot:
[sprinkling salt on the gold eggs and meat] How about with a dash of salt?

Yakko:
On The San Adreas Fault?

[An earthquake shakes, splitting The San Andreas Fault. Ralph the Giant falls into The San Andreas Fault]

Ralph the Giant:
No, not with a dash of salt, on The San Andreas Fault. [The earthquake reunites The San Andreas Fault, trapping him] I does not like gold eggs and meat. It's you who I would like to eat.

[Ralph the Giant is in Tokyo, Japan. The people are panickedly fleeing from him. The Warner Siblings arrive in a rikshaw, with Wakko pulling the rikshaw]

Wakko:
Would you, could you in Japan?

Yakko:
With Godzilla and Rodan?

[Godzilla (actually The Dragon from "Sir Yaksalot") and Rodan arrive and on each side of Ralph the Giant]

Ralph the Giant:
I would not, could not in Japan, [pushing Godzilla and Rodan away] with Godzilla and Rodan. [Godzilla breathes fire on him, roasting him black. Rodan flaps his wings, blowing him away to an island] I will not like gold eggs and meat. It's-

Warner Siblings:
[in unison] Us that you would like to eat.

[Dot pulls the film reel to the next scene. They are on top of the cloud outside the castle]

Yakko:
Eat them, eat them on a cloud.

Ralph the Giant:
Oh, all right, for crying out loud! [He takes the plate and swallows the meal] Mmmmm! Gold eggs and meat I do not hate.

Yakko:
But now those clouds won't hold your weight.

[Ralph the Giant starts to sink through the cloud]

Ralph the Giant:
Gee, I never thought about that. [He falls through the cloud, crashing into the ground bellow, taking some of the land down with him] Fee-fi-fo-fum, I fall down and hurt my bum.