Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

[Arriving at Hook of Holland, Oz's car, which has seen better days, gets off the ferry...]

Oz:
[As the radio loses frequency...] Well, lads, I'm afraid we're losing Radio 1.

Dennis:
Never knew we had it in this wreck.

Oz:
'Ey, 'ey, canny car, this car.

Dennis:
What have yer got a Sunderland sticker on the back for? Didn't kna you supported them.

Oz:
No, no, I don't, I don't, but the bloke I bought it off did, yer know. I was gonna try an' scrape it but I thought I might lose the bumper. [Sees the car ahead move on.] Whoa, man. Here we go. [To Neville in the back] Now don't panic, Neville. We'll all stick to the same story, right? We're off to catch butterflies in Bavaria!

[Oz gets pulled aside at Customs...]

Customs Officer:
Customs. Do you have anything to declare?

Dennis:
Er, no. Just the duty free. Scotch, cigarettes.

Customs Officer:
Can you open the back, please?

Dennis:
Yeah, erm, can you give us the keys, Oz?

Oz:
It doesn't lock.

[Dennis gets out of the car and opens the boot. A female Customs officer checks their bags and pulls out a spirit level.]

Female Officer:
What is this?

Dennis:
It's a spirit level.

Female Officer:
What's "spirit level"?

Dennis:
Well, I'll show you. [Takes the spirit level and places it up beside a wall.]

Customs Officer:
What does it mean?

Dennis:
Yer wall's not plumb!