Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

[The lads stop off at a motorway services. Oz and Dennis bring coffee and ham & cheese rolls to a table where Neville is sat, writing yet another postcard]

Oz:
Oh. Another postcard, is it, Neville(?)

Dennis:
[as he and Oz sit at the table] He promised Brenda he'd keep in touch.

Oz:
"Keep in touch"?! He wrote the first one at Darlington, man! Yer gonna blow all yer money on postage, lad.

Neville:
She didn't want us to come. [Licks the back of a stamp and affixes it to the postcard] She said she'd accepted it; "Whatever's best for us", she said... then last night she was a bit tearful.

Oz:
Mine never said a word.

Dennis:
That's not like your missus.

Oz:
Nah, well I must admit I never gave her a chance, like, y'know, I... sneaked out the back door and made a dawn departure, like. Pushed the car down the hill so it didn't make a noise. [Chuckles]

Neville:
You did a runner on yer wife?

Dennis:
Ah, you don't know his Marjorie. She's a right ball-breaker. I've seen her breakin' balls of innocent bystanders!

Oz:
Last time I came out I didn't bother tellin' her I was comin'. Just said, er, "I'm goin' down to the newsagents, pet, gettin' the Sporting Chronicle". Three months I was away, that time.

Neville:
Three months?! What'd she say when you got back?

Oz:
"What won the 4.30?" [Laughs]

Neville:
I've never worked abroad before. I've been abroad, like. Me an' Brenda went to Minorca twice.

Oz:
Twice? Why twice?

Neville:
...Well, we liked it the first time.

Oz:
Whereaboots is it, Minorca?

Neville:
Um... I'm not really sure. We flew non-stop from Newcastle.