Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

[Wayne goes on a date. He gets in his date's car]

Wayne:
[Adjusting his hair in the rear-view mirror] It's worse than England!

Ingrid:
What?

Wayne:
The weather. It makes me feel quite nostalgic. [They drive off.]

Ingrid:
What would you now be doing if you were now in London?

Wayne:
As it's Friday, I'd probably be working. Or on the dole.

Ingrid:
What is that?

Wayne:
It's the unemployment. We're big on that in England. It's one of our few spectacular successes(!) Right, we've managed to put more people out of work than any of our European counterparts.

Ingrid:
Yes?

Wayne:
And then I've got mates my age who ain't worked since they left school. Mind you, some of them it suits down to the ground.

Ingrid:
So, what do they do?

Wayne:
Well... they sort of put their energies into other things. Hence the violence at West Ham.

Ingrid:
What?

Wayne:
It's a football team.

Ingrid:
Oh! And you go to football?

Wayne:
Nah, I'm well out of that.

Ingrid:
I work in England.

Wayne:
Yeah right, you said. Where was it?

Ingrid:
Maidstone. It was not far from London.

Wayne:
Maidstone, eh? No shortage of action there then, eh?

Ingrid:
They were very nice, the family I work with. He was an airline pilot, and she too was working. She was teaching young children.

Wayne:
And, er... that's where you learnt to speak such good English, eh?

Ingrid:
Huh. I don't speak too good, I think.

Wayne:
Yeah, well... You don't have to, do you?

Ingrid:
[Stops the car] What do you mean?

Wayne:
Where I come from, you're what's known as a very tasty bird.

Ingrid:
That is what the airline pilot tells me!