Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

Wayne:
That you, is it, Moxey?

Moxey:
[From inside the cubicle] Yeah, that's right.

Wayne:
Mmm, thought I could recognise your elegant footwear(!)

Moxey:
What's wrong with 'em? They're very c-comfy, you know.

Wayne:
Yeah, but they're hardly the height of fashion, are they?

Moxey:
I like them.

Wayne:
[Getting out a flannel and shaving foam] I suppose if you're in there, I'd better make other arrangements, eh?

Moxey:
I think you'd b-better. I think it's the sauerkraut.

Wayne:
Yeah, they can play havoc with a bloke's system, they can.

Moxey:
Hey, I've got a joke for ya!

Wayne:
Oh, not before breakfast, Moxey, please(!)

Moxey:
Oh no, it's really good, this! It's about this Irishman, y'know. [Wayne applies shaving foam to his face.] An' he's dead sick about all the Irish jokes goin' around, y'know, bein' Irish himself, like. So he decides he's goin' to take English lessons, y'know, learn how to speak English proper.

Wayne:
Oh, like what you do, is that it, eh? [Washes shaving foam from his hands.]

Moxey:
Oh come on! It's really good! After a few weeks, he thinks he's good enough to, y'know, go out in the world and try it out. [Wayne looks in his washbag] So he goes into this shop, and he says to the bloke behind the counter... [Wayne shakes his head and leaves the cabin] ...he says, "I'll have a copy of the Telegraph, one of the Observer, and one of the Times." And the bloke behind the counter says "You're Irish, aren't you?" And the Irishman says, "How'd you know that?" He says, "This is fish and chip shop." Do you get it? [Silence, as Moxey doesn't realise that Wayne has left] I thought it was funny... Hey, did you hear about the bloke who swallowed his glass eye?