Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

Barry:
Where have the lads gone?

Wayne:
[Drying his hair] Swimming. Can you believe, hey?

Barry:
Ahh, that's a good idea.

Wayne:
Why?

Barry:
Well, it's exercise, innit?

Wayne:
It's madness, son. Madness!

Barry:
No it's not.

Moxey:
That Nev, he's into all them health things, isn't he?

Wayne:
Yeah. Tried to get me jogging the other week. I says, "No way." Told him what happened to my brother-in-law.

Barry:
What did happen?

Wayne:
Well, he's into all that, in't he? You know, running, weights, calis-bleeding-thenics, whatever they call it. Mind you, you gotta bear in mind that bloke's a bit of a nutter, otherwise he wouldn't have married my sister, would he?

Barry:
I don't know your sister, do I?

Wayne:
Nah, you're well out of there, ain't ya, son? Anyhow, he goes jogging every weekend, don't he? He's got all the gear and that, you know, the Adidas tracksuit, headband. So I says to 'im, I says, "You'll do yourself an injury, you will". I was right, weren't I?

Barry:
How'd you mean?

Wayne:
Well, he only tries to jog across the red light at Catford Roundabout, don't he? Got hit by a juggernaut bound for the A2 to Dover. Laugh? I nearly bought me own beer!