Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

Oz:
What d'you want now?

Dennis:
What do I want now? It's him! What on earth possessed you to bring him in here?

Oz:
Well, Dennis, he had naewhere else to go.

Dennis:
Well, that's his hard lines, right? He brought that on himself.

Oz:
Well, you cannae see a bloke without a bed, man, Den.

Wayne:
Him, you can. You're better off buying him a cage, mate. He even snores aggressively.

Neville:
He's gonna make all our lives a misery.

Oz:
Well, he cannae make your life much more of a one, can he?

Barry:
Look, leave Nev alone! Nev's right, Nev is! He's gonna spoil everything, he is!

Oz:
He's only one person, man!

Dennis:
Look, man, we've just about got used to living with each other, right? Now it hasn't been easy, but we've managed. Now you, you've gone and bollocksed everythin' up, askin' him in here!

Wayne:
Yeah, we're not a bleedin' halfway house, man.

Barry:
No, he's gotta go, it's as simple as that.

Wayne:
Oh yeah, and you're gonna tell him, is that it?

Barry:
No, no. Uh... I thought Bomber would.

Moxey:
Oh, terrific(!) Bomber's not back 'til next week.

Barry:
Alright then, we'll get up a delegation, right? We can write a strongly worded protest and then Dennis can go...

Dennis:
"Dennis can" what? Oh aye, Dennis can tell 'im to naff off. Dennis can get his head thumped!

Wayne:
Ah, we'll all back you up, though.

Barry:
No, Dennis has got a point.

Oz:
Well I dunno what all the fuss is aboot, he's not a bad bloke.

Dennis:
Oh, no, compared with other violent psychopaths, I suppose he isn't(!)

Oz:
Well, you've just gotta know how to handle 'im, man.

Wayne:
Well no-one else has, have they? He's done previous, you know.

Neville:
Has he?

Wayne:
Yeah, some of the lads told me.

Barry:
What for?

Wayne:
Well, I should hardly think it's income tax evasion.

Moxey:
G-grievous bodily harm, more like.

Dennis:
[To Oz] Look, you asked 'im in 'ere, right? You can get shot of 'im.

Oz:
All right, all right, man! It's nae skin off my nose!

Wayne:
It will be if you don't don't ask him right.