Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

Oz:
[Handing Uli a drink] You look like you could do with that.

Uli:
Cheers.

Oz:
Cheers. [They raise their glasses. Oz sees the extent of the bruises] He do that to you, did he?

Uli:
[Nods] Yeah.

Oz:
I'm not surprised. Bloody maniac. He come after me with a knife, yer know.

Uli:
Yes, you told me.

Oz:
Did he tell you about that the...

Uli:
What the Turk said?

Oz:
Aye. [Uli chuckles and nods] Yeah. Well, I suppose he were only trying to help, yer know. What a bloody cheek, though!

Uli:
Well, I didn't tell him that I know better. Look, I'm sorry I lied to you. I want to explain. You were my only chance to get out, to go to England where he couldn't hurt me.

Oz:
You must've been pretty desperate to pick a bloke like me.

Uli:
You were nice, and kind.

Oz:
Yeah, and rich?

Uli:
Oh, no, that had nothing to do with it.

Oz:
...Really?

Uli:
Well, of course.

Oz:
'Cos, er... it wasn't true, yer kna.

Uli:
No?

Oz:
Nah. Well, you weren't the only one that sort of made things out to be er, yer kna, a little bit different to what they were. Listen, I'm not any tycoon's son. My dad hasn't even got a business.

Uli:
No?

Oz:
Nah. My old man was a layabout and a drunk. He buggered off when I was a bairn. Last thing I saw of him was, er, huntin' around the house for a pair of socks, prior to pissing off to the Persian Gulf on an oil tanker. See... I spun that whole yarn just to try and impress you, yer kna. Kept it all going... just to keep you.

Uli:
[Shocked] ...Well, I feel better that you also didn't tell the truth.

Oz:
Well... you might as well know the lot. I'm married as well.

Uli:
You're married?!

Oz:
Officially. Only in England, mind. Yer kna... But I mean, you've got somebody as well, havvn't yer? I mean, you've got this Kemal bloke.

Uli:
Yes, I have Kemal.

Oz:
Look, Uli, I mean, the main thing is, you've got to give this bloke the elbow, haven't yer? You've gotta give him the heave-ho, the push, the shove... Leave the bugger! Yer know? I mean, try... Pack a bag and try a new town.

Uli:
[Shaking her head] It's difficult.

Oz:
I know, I know, but I thought maybes, yer kna, when this has all blown over I thought maybe we could pick it up where we left off.

Uli:
Maybe, huh? But, you know, Kemal is a bad man, and I don't want any more trouble for you.

Oz:
He'll not cause me any more trouble. He'll not cause you any more trouble either. He's only one man, yer kna.

Uli:
Yes, but he has two brothers, and they're all bad people.

Oz:
Yes, but I've got six mates, an' if we count the whole building site, that's nearly 100. I don't think the Kemal brothers'll wanna mess with that lot!