Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

Wayne:
[Standing] The toast is Brenda.

Barry:
[As they raise their bottles of beer] Aye, Brenda, definitely.

Neville:
And Brenda's sister.

Barry:
Hey, Nev, Nev, a rare treat that, mate. A rare treat, Neville.

Oz:
Aye, like getting a Red Cross parcel in the war, that.

Moxey:
It has been a great day, though, hann'it, y'know? A nice piece of crumpet in the admin, an' a great piece of cake in the hut. [The lads laugh, except Oz]

Oz:
[Stands up] Hey, shorty! Not so much of the crumpet. That Yvette's special, yer kna! I mean, destiny sent her, didn'it?

Wayne:
Destiny did, all the way here. [Dennis and Bomber enter]

Oz:
How now, Dennis!

Neville:
[Holding up a place with two slices of cake] We saved you some.

Wayne:
Get stuck in, mate.

Neville:
Some cake Brenda sent.

Bomber:
That'll do Bomber. Real gent you are, Nev.

Neville:
There would've been more, like, but somebody got at it.

Dennis:
Why?

Neville:
I divvn't know, but a big chunk got eaten.

Dennis:
[As he and Bomber put their pieces of cake back on the plate] Oh, in that case, I think I'll pass.

Bomber:
Me too.

Neville:
Why?

Oz:
What for?

Barry:
A spiffing bit of cake, that is!

Oz:
I'll eat it. [He and Wayne grab the two pieces]

Dennis:
Look, it's no offence to Brenda's cooking, I just think that this hut's got another inmate. I think he's probably eaten your cake, like.

Oz:
[With a mouth full of cake] How's that, like?

Dennis:
We've just seen him, haven't we, Bomber?

Bomber:
Couldn't miss him.

Oz:
Who, man?

Dennis:
I don't know his name, but it was the biggest rat I've ever seen.