Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

Wayne:
Morning, ladies!

Christa:
Hello, Wayne.

Dagmar:
Good morning, Wayne.

Wayne:
Erm... I brought you a little something.

Christa:
Oh... [Wayne presents her with the plaque] Oh, Wayne, it's beautiful. You made it yourself, ja?

Wayne:
Well, y'know, on my union card it says "joiner", but I'm a sculptor, really.

Christa Oh, er... Dagmar, look. Erm... Wayne has made me a paperweight!

Dagmar:
Very nice.

Wayne:
No. No, no, it's not a paperweight. It's a plaque, ain't it? Y'know, you're supposed to put it on the wall like, y'know... [Puts it atop the first aid cabinet] ...above your bed, like.

Christa:
Oh, of course. Erm... it will look very nice there.

Wayne:
That's all right, then, ain't it? Erm, I wanna fill in one of those forms as well, if you'd give us a hand.

Christa:
Which forms?

Wayne:
The, erm... work permits, whatever you call them.

Christa:
[Getting up] You're staying?

Wayne:
Yeah. About the only one who is, by the look of it. [Dagmar turns around] Course, erm... a couple of lads haven't quite made their minds up yet, y'know.

Christa:
[Getting the forms] You want me to, erm... to write this for you, ja?

Wayne:
Yeah, please, if you would, love. My German never got past Donner and Blitzen.

Christa:
[Laughs] Okay. [Grabs a pen] Please, your full name.

Wayne:
Look, you do know why I'm doing this, don't you?

Christa:
[Smiles back at Wayne] I think I can guess.

Wayne:
Right... It's Wayne Winston Norris.