Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Series 1

Wayne:
Hello? Anyone expecting a telegram? [Laughs]

Barry:
[Struggling] Oh, no, don't give me a hand, anybody, will you(?) No, no, it's alright... [Sets off the horn on his bike with his gut] I'll just bloody rupture meself, that's all!

Moxey:
What's the score then, Barry? Into motocross? [The lads laugh. Barry doesn't as he sets the bike in the middle of the hut.]

Barry:
Old Faithful here's gonna get me to Jeddah, ain't she? So I think I'd better give her a complete service before I set off.

Neville:
You're not ridin' that all the way to Saudi Arabia?!

Barry:
Nah, nah. I thought I might run alongside it, ya nerk(!)

Wayne:
'Ere, hold on, Barry. This is all a bit previous, ain't it? I mean it's alright for you lot, you can all go your separate ways at the weekend, right? But this is still my home. I know it's the pits, but I don't want it turned into the pits. Know what I mean?

Barry:
Don't worry, I'll be tidy. I used to be able to build whole Meccano sets on a tea tray, y'know, without losing one single piece, yeah?

Wayne:
[Gets up and gets a tea-tray from atop a cupboard] If so much as one nut or bolt strays off this tray, son, it's on yer bike! [Flings the tray at Barry, who catches it.]