Batman, Season 2

Alfred:
[to Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara] My experience with women has been that they tend to believe what they want to believe. So, knowing you both to be conscientious gentlemen and faithful husbands, I'm sure that if you just tell both your wives that you were involved in some special and, uh, confidential assignment, that will suffice.

Commissioner Gordon:
Have you ever been married?

Alfred:
Eh -- Well, no, no.

Commissioner Gordon:
Alfred, at the risk of sounding pompous, experience with women and experience with wives are two vastly different things.

Chief O'Hara:
Amen.