Becker, Season 1

[Becker walks into the diner]

Dr. John Becker:
You guys see the paper this morning?

Jake Malinak:
John, we keep going over this. I'm blind. I haven't seen anything for five years.

Dr. John Becker:
Yeah, well it's unbelievable. Some kid in West Virginia gets a bad grade, grabs his daddy's rifle and shoots out his teacher's tyres. Another slice of Americana brought to you by those card-carrying lunatics who think they're defending the Second Amendment! Lord knows when I want the Constitution explained to me, the first place I turn to is some toothless cretin with a third-grade education and an Elmer Fudd cap! Not that I have anything against hunting; if it makes you feel more like a man to blow Bambi's head off, knock yourself out! Just lock up the damn gun so when little Billy Bob, you know, flunks gym, he doesn't throw a hissy fit and take out half the faculty!

Jake Malinak:
Reg, we gotta get to the paper before he does so we can cut out everything that'll piss him off!

Regina "Reggie" Kostas:
That pretty much leaves the weather and Charlie Brown.

Dr. John Becker:
Yeah, you know I hate that pathetic little clod! How hard is it to kick a damn football?!