Better Call Saul, Season 3

[At his community service, Jimmy overhears his supervisor turn down someone's request to leave. Jimmy comes up to him]

Jimmy:
Hey buddy, you wanna get out of here? How much is it worth to you?

Freddy:
What?

Jimmy:
To ditch this. How much?

Freddy:
Leave me alone, yo.

Jimmy:
Come on, you wanna get to your deal, or what?

Freddy:
Look, man. I was just trying to see my sick kid.

Jimmy:
Heh. You're trying to sell something you shouldn't have to someone who shouldn't be buying it. [Freddy glares at him] Hey, no judgements, alright? A man's gotta make a living. I'm just saying, the way you make yours rhymes with "mug mealer."

Freddy:
What are you, a narc?

Jimmy:
I'm the guy who's gonna get you outta here and let you keep your hours.

Freddy:
Yeah?

Jimmy:
Yeah.

Freddy:
How you gonna do that?

Jimmy:
Let me worry about the how, okay? You just... seven hundred bucks and you're gone.

Freddy:
Man, I don't have seven hundred bucks.

Jimmy:
Yeah, you got a couple grand in your sock.

Freddy:
...Seven hundred bucks, and you can get me out of here? [Jimmy nods] Alright. You can do it, you've got a deal.

Jimmy:
Okay. Go pick up trash, go on.

[Jimmy lies down on the ground and waits for his supervisor]

Supervisor:
The hell's this?

Jimmy:
Resting. Uh, hurt my back.

Supervisor:
...Get up.

Jimmy:
Nope. My back's killing me.

Supervisor:
Suit yourself. You're not getting your hours.

Jimmy:
I'm pretty sure you're gonna give me my hours.

Supervisor:
Oh yeah? How do you figure that?

Jimmy:
Because if you don't... I'm gonna sue you.

Supervisor:
Hate to break it to you, smart guy, but you signed a waiver.

Jimmy:
I signed a waiver with the city, but I'm not suing the city. I'm suing you! Personally!

Supervisor:
You can't do that.

Jimmy:
Buddy... this is the land of the free and the home of the lawsuit. [gets up] I sure as shootin' can. And you know what? Uh, I think I'll bring [points to Freddy] that guy in with me and make it a class action thing.

Supervisor:
What's he got to do with it?

Jimmy:
You knowingly prevented him for visiting his child in the hospital. If that isn't intentional infliction of emotional distress, what is?

Supervisor:
That's crazy—

Jimmy:
Crazy hasn't even started. I can also sue you for failure to approve community service hours. That's a direct violation of your duties as an agent of the state of New Mexico.

Supervisor:
I'm only doing my job-

Jimmy:
And just for tickles, maybe I throw in failure to treat and mitigate damages suffered by me due to injuries sustained under your watch.

Supervisor:
Injury?

Jimmy:
My back.

Supervisor:
You're full of shit! The waiver clearly-

Jimmy:
That waiver's gonna make swiss cheese look solid. And in a personal lawsuit, it's a fart in the wind.

Supervisor:
You're never gonna win that.

Jimmy:
Maybe, maybe not. In order to find out, we gotta do some math. Let's see: A lawyer's gonna cost you about 90 bucks an hour, you're looking at eight to twelve months of litigation, minimum.

Supervisor:
I-I'll represent myself.

Jimmy:
Great! Bring it on. You got a car? You got a house? A pension? Kiss it all goodbye. Look, out here you might be King Douchenozzle, but in court, you are little people. Look, the judge and I, we'll gladly spend the next five years in the courtroom, but for you it's expensive. It's very, very expensive, it's third mortgage expensive! So, I'm offering you a simple choice: You can go to your wife, you can explain to her that you're about to lose your job, your pension... whatever pinhole of a reputation you've got at the bowling alley on Glow-Ball Sundays, or let my friend here visit his sick daughter in the hospital and you can let me rest my back on this sacred, now litter-free, New Mexico soil. Oh, and we keep our hours.

Supervisor:
[pause] Fine. Asshole. [to Freddy] Well, go on. Get out of here.

Freddy:
[to Jimmy] Hey, man, that was some Jedi mind shit right there! [gets cash from his sock] Best seven hundred I done ever spent! Here you go, I'm out.

[Jimmy counts it, then lays back]