Better Call Saul, Season 3

Better Call Saul (2015–2022) is an American AMC drama about the life of a small-time lawyer Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) seven years before his appearance on Breaking Bad, though events during and after the original series are also explored.

[Jimmy is confronted in his office by Bauer, the Air Force captain he tricked to shoot his commercial]

Jimmy:
Hello, hello. It's so good to see you again.

Captain Bauer:
I escorted you and your "clients" onto my base. I treated you with hospitality and respect. And I come to find every word out of your mouth is a damn lie.

Jimmy:
Captain, please. Why– Sit down, take a load off. Hey, I'll get you a complimentary coffee or a soft drink–

Captain Bauer:
And your so-called war hero, Fudge Talbot? No such person, never was.

Jimmy:
Granted, some artistic license may have been taken.

Captain Bauer:
You entered government property under false pretenses, sir.

Jimmy:
Now, whoa, whoa, whoa– I am no expert on your procedures and your protocols and whatnot, so if we failed to cross a T or dot an I, I sincerely apologize for any misunderstanding.

Captain Bauer:
No, it's not a misunderstanding!

Jimmy:
Step back! Now picture this, okay? What damage was done? Hey. Who was hurt, huh? Who's damaged? The base is still there, right? The B-52 is, I presume, still at—

Captain Bauer:
B-29.

Jimmy:
Huh?

Captain Bauer:
B-29. FIFI is a B-29. [Jimmy scoffs] Oh, this is all just one big joke to you, huh?

Jimmy:
You don't like the commercial.

Captain Bauer:
No, no I don't. But this has nothing with do with the c—

Jimmy:
Well, constructive criticism is always welcome.

Captain Bauer:
But I just—

Jimmy:
But you should realize that most people find it uplifting. Patriotic, even.

Captain Bauer:
I—I...

Jimmy:
You check your recruiting numbers, though. I think you're gonna see an uptick. And you know what? If it turns out that Fudge wasn't actually in the war—

Captain Bauer:
Fudge is not a person. He wasn't in the war.

Jimmy:
Well, neither was Tom Cruise. And look at what Top Gun did for you.

Captain Bauer:
You lied to me. You lied to my face, and I can't let you get away with it.

Jimmy:
I—I think we just—We're just gonna have to agree to disagree. So can we get you that coffee to go, or...

Captain Bauer:
No, no! I'm gonna tell you what's happening now. You're gonna take that ad off the air. And if you play that ad one more time, I'm gonna go to the Judge Advocate and we will take you down. Trespassing, false representation, stolen valor, the whole nine yards.

Jimmy:
Seriously? For eight seconds of a TV commercial?

Captain Bauer:
You take that ad down, or there'll be hell to pay. That clear enough for you?

Jimmy:
[beat] Make me.

Captain Bauer:
Yeah?

Jimmy:
Yeah.

Captain Bauer:
Make you?

Jimmy:
Yeah, let's do this! You bring your commander down here and I'll explain to him how you let us on the base, red carpet treatment.

Captain Bauer:
B—b—because you lied your way in!

Jimmy:
Not how I remember it, and I got witnesses to back me up! Do you like being an Air Force captain, huh? Do you think the United States wants to bring action against an old man in a wheelchair?

Captain Bauer:
He was standing on TV! He wasn't even in a wheelchair!

Jimmy:
Yeah, well, periodically he is. And when he shows up at court, you better believe he'll be in a wheelchair!

Captain Bauer:
Because you're an ambulance-chasing piece of shit, 'cause you're always the same. You're always–

Jimmy:
Always on a high horse, always trying to make me feel like I'm... [beat; catches himself and calms down] Look, um... I'm a lawyer, and this is what I do all day, every day. So how about this. I—I won't fly jet planes, you stay out of court. Does that sound good?

Captain Bauer:
You know, guys like you... you think you're so damn smart, and you think you don't have to play straight with anybody. The wheel is gonna turn. It always does.

[Jimmy opens his office door for Bauer to leave]

[Kim and Jimmy interview their first potential secretary:
Francesca]

Jimmy:
Well, I for one, am not calling it the MVD. DMV all the way.

Kim:
What do you think you learned the most, working there?

Francesca:
Patience. Diplomacy. You meet all sorts of people down there, and most are really great, really friendly, but you encounter some who are upset, belligerent—

Jimmy:
What about old folks? You get your fair share of them?

Francesca:
Oh, lots of elderly drivers. After 75, they need to take their test again, so if they don't pass you have to explain why their license isn't being renewed, which is hard for them.

Jimmy:
What do you say then? Do you ever... yell at them? I mean, geezers, right? How can you not?

Francesca:
...No. I would never, no.

Jimmy:
...Nor should you, that was a trick question. You passed with flying colors, very good.

Kim:
So, Jimmy and I have very different needs. His practice is mostly wills for senior citizens while I'm focused on a single client at the moment, Mesa Verde, with banking regulations that generate a ton of paperwork. So, I'm looking for someone with an eye for organization and detail.

Jimmy:
Well, DMV's great for that. Tons of detail in those driver's licenses.

Francesca:
We did see hundreds of people every day, and you'd never want to let a mistake slip through on those forms. You'd just have a horrible cascade of problems.

Jimmy:
Sounds challenging.

Kim:
So, why the law? I mean, why leave the DMV- er, MVD? I have to imagine you'll be giving up a good benefits package.

Francesca:
Good healthcare and retirement plans, but there's a bureaucracy to government work that ultimately became too frustrating. I guess- what'd you'd call it, too much red tape? I just wanna be somewhere I can make a difference.

Jimmy:
Oh, that's us. We're all about making a difference.

Kim:
And I see here both Word and Excel, you're comfortable with?

Francesca:
Absolutely—

Jimmy:
Excel and Word? Wow. Well, you had me at "old people"! Hey, here's a question: can you start today?

Francesca:
I... uh, yes?

Jimmy:
Fantastic!

Kim:
Now- Can you just give us a second, Francesca?

Francesca:
Absolutely, I, uh... Of course.

Kim:
Thank you.

[Francesca leaves]

Kim:
What are you doing?

Jimmy:
What? I like her.

Kim:
"Can you start today?" Don't you think we should see more resumes? Like, a lot more? She is our first interview! We haven't even checked her references!

Jimmy:
So we'll check 'em! Kim, you've been taking forever searching for a paralegal. Now, we need help here.

Kim:
Haven't found the right fit.

Jimmy:
Yeah, because you're searching for perfection, and perfection is the enemy of perfectly adequate.

Kim:
So that's the bar here? Adequate?

Jimmy:
She's more than adequate! She worked at the DMV, that's like the fifth circle of Hell! Look, she's overqualified; if it doesn't work out, we can fire her. It's no big deal.

Kim:
Don't you think someone with actual legal experience would be better?

Jimmy:
Look, I've got a commercial airing in eleven minutes, so the phones are gonna be ringing off the hook and I need help. Can we give her a test run, please? I got a good feeling about this! Come on, Kim!

[Kim learns about Chuck's tape from Ernesto, and goes to tell Jimmy]

Kim:
Give me a dollar.

Jimmy:
Give you a dollar?

Kim:
Hand me a dollar! Come on!

Jimmy:
Okay... All I got's a twenty-

Kim:
Fine, whatever. [holds up the dollar] Alright. I'm your lawyer now. If anyone asks me what I know, we have confidentiality.

Jimmy:
Why do we need confidentiality?

Kim:
Jimmy, what did you say to Chuck?

Jimmy:
Oh, here it comes... Howard, right? Did Howard call? [Kim looks away] Relax! No, let me explain, please! Please. Kim, let me set the stage for you, okay? When I went to Chuck's place last week, it was like the inside of a Jiffy Pop wrapper, alright? There was Mylar on the walls. There was Mylar on the ceiling, the ceiling! He thought his brain wasn't working because of the Mesa Verde event and so... I kind of told him that he was right about everything. I had to! He- he- Kim, he was broken. He was a broken man, I couldn't leave him in crazy town like that! So I told him; you know, just to make him feel better. It doesn't matter what he says, it doesn't matter who he tells, because it's my word against his.

Kim:
Jimmy, there's a tape.

Jimmy:
...What?

Kim:
There is a tape recording of you talking to Chuck.

Jimmy:
What do you mean? Who? He—he taped me? How?

Kim:
I don't know how, he just did! Okay? Ernie told me.

Jimmy:
Ernie told you?

Kim:
He said Chuck has a tape recorder, wrapped in a space blanket in his desk drawer. Ernie was putting new batteries in it for Chuck, and the tape rolled for a few seconds and he heard you... your voice saying something about switching 1261 to 1216. So clearly, it was this confession of yours.

Jimmy:
...He taped me.

Kim:
[beat] Yes, Jimmy... but I'm not sure what he can do with it... legally, anyway. I'm gonna have to do some research. He made that tape for a reason, and now we have to figure out why. [notices Jimmy seething] Jimmy?

Jimmy:
I gotta get back to it. The lobby's full of clients.

Kim:
We'll figure this out.

Jimmy:
Yeah. I know.

[Howard visits Chuck's house, where Chuck and a hired private investigator named Dave are waiting for Jimmy to show up and steal the audiotape in which he confessed to doctoring the Mesa Verde documents.]

Chuck:
What's up?

Howard:
Chuck, this has been going on for eight days now, and really no indication that it's going to work.

Chuck:
It will work.

Howard:
I think I've been very patient. But the cost of these round-the-clock private investigators is really starting to add up.

Chuck:
Howard, this is our duty as officers of the court. We have an ethical obligation to–

Howard:
Yes.

Chuck:
My brother broke the law. We can't just sit back and do nothing!

Howard:
I'm not talking about doing nothing. I just want to...free up our minds, and be open to alternate strategies. Please, meet me halfway here.

Chuck:
[sighs] I suppose... I suppose we can limit the investigators to just nighttime hours.

Howard:
Nighttime?

Chuck:
Yes. Jimmy will most likely break in while he thinks I'm sleeping. I mean, I wouldn't put anything past him. It just makes the most sense he'll try to steal the tape under cover of darkness.

[Jimmy's car can be heard screeching to a halt outside]

Howard:
You really think he's going to do that?

Chuck:
I do indeed.

Howard:
How can you be so sure?

Chuck:
Howard, I know my brother.

[Jimmy begins angrily banging on Chuck's front door. Chuck goes to the door while Howard and Dave hide in an adjoining room.]

Jimmy:
Chuck! Chuck! Open the goddamn door, Chuck! Open the door, dammit! Open it, Chuck!

Chuck:
Jimmy, go away.

Jimmy:
Open the fucking door! Open it now!

Chuck:
I'm not opening the door. I'm not opening the d–

Jimmy:
I swear to God, Chuck!

[Jimmy starts kicking the door]

Chuck:
Jimmy—Jimmy!

[Jimmy breaks in the door and pursues Chuck to his study.]

Jimmy:
YOU TAPED ME?! YOU ASSHOLE!

Chuck:
Jimmy!

Jimmy:
You PULLED THAT HEARTSTRINGS CON JOB ON ME?! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! "Oh, my brain used to work, I'm sick, I don't know what to do!" Asshole! No wonder Rebecca left you! What took her so long?!

[Jimmy reaches Chuck's desk and finds the locked drawer where his audiotape of Jimmy's confession is being kept.]

Jimmy:
There it is!

[Jimmy tries and fails to pry the drawer open with a pair of scissors. He spots a poker next to the fireplace.]

Jimmy:
Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!

[Jimmy takes the poker and pries open the drawer. He finds the tape player and pulls out the cassette.]

Jimmy:
Oh, is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Huh? For this, you destroyed our family? Are you happy now?! For what?! For nothing!

[Jimmy corners Chuck and rips the cassette apart with his bare hands.]

Jimmy:
Is that all there is, Chuck? Is that all there–all there is, or did you make copies? Huh, Chuck? Huh?! You tell me or I'll burn this whole goddamn house to the ground!

[Howard and Dave step into the room.]

Howard:
Jimmy! Jimmy! That's enough!

[Jimmy, seeing Howard and Dave, deflates and calms down]

Howard:
You need to step away.

Chuck:
[shaken] Howard? You were a witness to what happened here?

Howard:
I was.

Chuck:
[to Dave] And you?

Dave:
I'm a witness.

[All three men stare in silence at Jimmy, who is now at Chuck's mercy]

[Mike kicks the gas cap and answers the ringing cell phone in the middle of a deserted road.]

Mike:
Yeah.

Gus:
May I assume that you are armed?

Mike:
Yes.

Gus:
I do not wish to see your gun. And if I don't, I promise you won't see mine. Are we in agreement?

Mike:
We are.

Gus:
Expect two cars momentarily.

[Mike is approached from two directions by two SUVs. Victor emerges from one car, while Gus Fring and Tyrus Kitt emerge from the other. Mike presents the "DON'T" note to Gus.]

Mike:
You care to elaborate?

Gus:
It's not in my interests for Hector Salamanca to die... at this time.

Mike:
Who is he to you?

Gus:
An associate of an associate.

Mike:
Hmm. How very specific.

Gus:
Who is he to you?

Mike:
We had a disagreement. He threatened my family. I'm not gonna let that go.

Gus:
But... you had let it go. You'd taken his money. Your family was no longer in danger. And yet, still, you robbed his truck. Shouldn't that have settled the matter? Most men would have walked away. But instead, you made an attempt on his life. Why? [beat] I understand that a civilian found the driver after you robbed the truck. Hector murdered this civilian, correct?

Mike:
...He wasn't in the game.

Gus:
I can't allow you to kill Hector. However, I am not completely unsympathetic to your... sense of justice. You hurt Hector when you robbed that truck. You hurt his business. His pride... quite effectively. And if you were to hurt him in the same manner again, I would not stand in your way.

Mike:
You want me to rob another truck.

Gus:
If you feel so inclined.

Mike:
I'm done with that.

Gus:
Then our business here is finished.

Mike:
That's it?

Gus:
That's it.

Mike:
No more tracker, no more of your minions following me? Just like that?

Gus:
Just like that. Of course, I trust that you are done with Hector Salamanca? [Mike nods] Goodbye, Mr. Ehrmantraut.

[Gus turns to leave.]

Mike:
Wait. [Gus turns back to face Mike] You want his trucks hit because you wanna disrupt his supply line. Hector's your competition.

Gus:
Why do you ask?

Mike:
Because I'm not done with Hector Salamanca.

Jimmy:
I got a deal offer from the ADA today.

Kim:
And?

Jimmy:
It's not what I expected.

Kim:
Bad "not what you expected"?

Jimmy:
It's just that—it's different. She's offering me pre-prosecution diversion.

Kim:
Seriously? A PPD? That's great, Jimmy!

Jimmy:
Best I could hope for, right?

Kim:
Right. What does she want you to confess to?

Jimmy:
All of it. The felony B and E, misdemeanor petty assault and property damage—I never touched him, but they got assault in there.

Kim:
Well, could be worse. As long as they never activate it, it doesn't matter, right? You gonna be able to keep your nose clean for a whole year? Keep Viktor with a K on lockdown?

Jimmy:
It's not a problem, Giselle. And if I don't, it's instant jail, right?

Kim:
Lucky break. She must not want the hassle of a trial.

Jimmy:
Guess so.

Kim:
Jimmy. This is good news, and Chuck is gonna be pissed. It's a big check in the pro column.

Jimmy:
Actually, the PPD was Chuck's idea.

Kim:
...Shit.

Jimmy:
Yeah.

Kim:
What's his game?

Jimmy:
One condition of the PPD is, my written confession is immediately submitted to the New Mexico Bar Association.

Kim:
Your written felony confession.

Jimmy:
Mmhmm. I thought he wanted me in jail; he just wants my law license. [sighs]

Kim:
What are you gonna do?

Jimmy:
Well, I knew the bar was going to be an issue, right? So, I figured I'd plea the charges down to a couple misdemeanors, get a censure and maybe a little suspension, but... a confession to a felony?

Kim:
Grounds for disbarment.

Jimmy:
Yeah, and if I take it to trial and I lose, I face the bar anyways–and jail time, most likely. He's got me boxed in.

Kim:
You can fight this. The disciplinary board listens to extenuating circumstances...

Jimmy:
No, Chuck knows everybody at the bar. Hell, he made half of their careers; it's gonna be him and his cronies versus me. Alone.

Kim:
...Not alone.

Jimmy:
Kim...

Kim:
Come on, Jimmy. You need me. You can't argue this yourself. You and I both know that, and I'm not gonna let you fight this on your own.

Jimmy:
Are you sure?

Kim:
Yeah.

Jimmy:
'Cause I don't... Why would you... Come on. [points to himself] This guy? Seriously?

[After a moment, Kim takes his hand.]

Kim:
Let's just call it the fallacy of sunk costs. So what now?

Jimmy:
Now? Now we take that PPD and we shove it right up Chuck's ass.

Gus:
Excuse me, everyone. Could you all please take a moment and join me out here? Please, come. Come, come, come.

[Gus's employees gather around him]

Gus:
I would, uh... I would like to apologize to each and every one of you, who yesterday had to endure the behavior of those men. It was unacceptable. Despite the difficult circumstances, you all acquitted yourselves impeccably. That said, if any of you wish to seek counseling due to lingering trauma, speak with me privately and it will be arranged. Also, you will all be receiving twenty-four hours of overtime, as I am sure, in one way or another, each of you brought this incident home with you. [sees one of his employees raise their hand] Yes, Lyle?

Lyle:
Mr. Fring, uh... Who were those guys?

Gus:
Well, some of you know that many years ago I opened my first Los Pollos Hermanos in Michoacán. Shortly thereafter, those same men showed up. They wanted money. And I—I...I'm ashamed to say that I paid them. You see, in that place, at that time, if I wished to conduct my business, I had no choice. But yesterday... Yesterday, they came here. Here. They intimidated my customers. They threatened my employees. And, again, they wanted money. Now my friends, I-I must confess that I almost gave them what they wanted. But then, I thought, "No. No. This is America." Here, the righteous have no reason to fear. Here, those men have no power. And when they saw that I had no fear of them, they ran like the cowards they are, back across the border. They will not return. We will move on from this. My friends, I promise you that together, we will prosper.

[Gus's employees applaud]

[Chuck gives his testimony]

Chuck:
I recorded my brother to build a case against him.

Robert Alley:
And at the time, would you say you were in full possession of your faculties? All due respect, but you do sound somewhat unhinged on the recording.

Chuck:
Yes, I understand, but what you heard was theater, a performance, play-acting. I exaggerated the symptoms of my disease to extract the truth.

Robert Alley:
Can we talk about your disease for a moment? I'd like everybody here to be on the same page.

Chuck:
Of course. It is sometimes referred to as EHS: Electromagnetic hypersensitivity. I describe it as an acute allergy to electromagnetism.

Robert Alley:
It's not a common condition, is it?

Chuck:
I know it sounds strange, I do, but 30 years ago, no one had heard of peanut allergies.

Robert Alley:
But you admit that no one... no doctor has ever diagnosed you?

Chuck:
AIDS was not identified properly until 1981. HIV wasn't known as the cause until '83. These things take time to unravel, even for doctors.

Robert Alley:
Would you say that your illness affects your ability to think clearly?

Chuck:
No. It affects me physically. It causes me great pain; however, I'm perfectly lucid.

Robert Alley:
Thank you. Mr. McGill, I have only one more question for you... do you hate your brother?

Chuck:
Absolutely not. I love my brother. There's nothing malicious in Jimmy. He has a way of doing the worst things for reasons that seem almost noble... but what I know for sure is that the law is too important to be toyed with. It's mankind's greatest achievement. The rule of law, the idea that no matter who you are, your actions have consequences, and the way my brother treats the law... it breaks my heart. That's why I did what I did. Not to hurt him, but to protect something that I hold sacred.

Jimmy:
Earlier you talked about other diseases. Physical conditions, you said. So, okay, if you had—I dunno—lung cancer, would you have told Rebecca then?

Chuck:
If that had been the case, maybe I might have.

Jimmy:
So how is this different?

Male Committee Member:
Mr. McGill, move it along.

Jimmy:
You don't have to answer that. I wanna get down to brass tacks. I want to be very, very specific here. This illness, what does it feel like? You mentioned it's painful.

Chuck:
It is. There's a tightness in my chest, difficulty breathing – and pain, burning pain. Pain spreads everywhere.

Jimmy:
Sounds horrible. Does it hurt right now?

Chuck:
There's always some discomfort, yes. Electricity is everywhere in the modern world. But I very much appreciate the indulgence of the panel for their accommodation here today. I can handle this fine.

[Jimmy makes a signal to Francesca, who leaves the courtroom]

Jimmy:
Right. So with the lights out, you don't feel them?

Chuck:
If the current's not flowing, no.

Jimmy:
I'm sorry about the exit signs. I guess they couldn't kill those for you.

Chuck:
Well, they're not drawing much current and they're far away.

[Francesca comes back into the courtroom, followed by Huell. They take their seats while Jimmy sighs.]

Chuck:
Intensity drops off with distance, per the inverse-square law.

Jimmy:
Oh, whoa. Inverse-square? I'm not a physicist. Could you dumb that down a shade for me?

Chuck:
The farther away it is, the stronger the source needs to be to have an effect.

Jimmy:
Got it, got it. So, if I had a small battery—say, from a watch or something—and I got it close to you, close to your skin, you'd know?

Chuck:
I would feel it, yes.

Jimmy:
Can you feel more current coming from any particular direction right now? From the back wall, or from over there? Or up through the floor– Can you tell us where the nearest source is, right now?

Chuck:
[beat] Jimmy, do you have something in your pocket?

Jimmy:
Yes, I do, as a matter of fact. [pulls a cell phone from his breast pocket and places it in front of Chuck] My cell phone. From this distance you should feel it, and you don't, do you?

Chairman:
Mr. McGill, you were warned to leave your electronics outside.

Chuck:
It's alright. It's alright. May I? [takes the cell phone and opens the back] Just as I thought. There's no battery in here. You removed the battery. That's a sorry little trick, isn't it?

Jimmy:
Yeah, you got me, Chuck. Dead to rights. I removed the battery.

Robert Alley:
Objection.

Chairman:
Sustained. Y-you've taken all the leeway you're getting, Mr. McGill. Wrap it up fast.

Chuck:
God, Jimmy! Don't you know by now this is real, I feel this? It's a physical response to stimuli. It's not a quirk. What do I have to do to prove it to you?

Jimmy:
I don't know, Chuck. Could you reach into your breast pocket and tell me what's there?

Chuck:
[scoffs] What now?

[Chuck reaches into his pocket and retrieves the battery to the cell phone. Startled, he drops it on the floor.]

Jimmy:
Can you tell the court what that was? [picks up the battery]

Chuck:
A battery...

Robert Alley:
Mr. Chairman, please—

[Huell stands up from his seat]

Jimmy:
Do you recognize that man in back? His name is Huell Babineaux, he's on our witness list. You bumped into him in the stairway. He'll testify he planted this fully-charged battery on you over an hour-and-a-half ago.

Huell:
Hour and forty-three minutes.

Jimmy:
An hour and forty-three minutes. Thank you, Mr. Babineaux. [to Chuck] And you felt nothing.

[Jimmy turns on the cell phone and holds it to Chuck's face]

Chuck:
No, no, no. No no, it's a trick, it has to–

Robert Alley:
Enough is enough. I submit that Mr. McGill's mental illness is a non-issue. If he were schizophrenic...

Chuck:
Schizo—!

Robert Alley:
...it would not take away from the fact that the defendant—

Chuck:
I AM NOT CRAZY! [beat] I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers, I knew it was 1216! One after Magna Carta, as if I could ever make such a mistake! Never! Never! I just—I just couldn't prove it! He—he—he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him...

Robert Alley:
Mr. McGill, please. You don't have to go into—

Chuck:
You think this is something? You think this is bad, this—this chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No, he orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof, and I saved him! I shouldn't have! I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking?! He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was nine, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! "But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy!" Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer?! What a sick joke! I should have stopped him when I had the chance! And you, you have to stop him! You—

[Chuck stops when he sees everyone in the courtroom—Jimmy, Kim, Howard, Rebecca, the panel —all staring at him in shock and dismay.]

Chuck:
I apologize. I lost my train of thought. Got carried away. Do you have anything else?

Jimmy:
No. Nothing further.

Kim:
What are we gonna do about Francesca?

Jimmy:
[clears throat] Do about her? What?

Kim:
Yeah, how much notice should we give her? Two weeks? [Jimmy turns to look at her] Well, we’re not doing her any favors by keeping her in the dark. She should start looking.

Jimmy:
So, you wanna fire Francesca?

Kim:
[shrugs] I don’t want to, but I don’t need her for more than filing and getting coffee, and I can do that myself.

Jimmy:
We just hired her. I like her.

Kim:
While we’re on the subject, we need to talk about the overhead on this place.

Jimmy:
No! Kim, no!

Kim:
This office is set up for two legal practices, and now there’s only… one! I don’t need all this space; I only have one client!

Jimmy:
It’s a huge client!

Kim:
I looked into it, and… breaking the lease will cost a hell of a lot less than ten months’ rent.

Jimmy:
Look, we didn’t go through all of this just to give up everything after one day of suspension. One day!

Kim:
It’s not everything. It’s an office. Four walls and a door. Why waste money on something we don’t need?

Jimmy:
[pause] As far as I’m concerned, nothing’s changed, alright? I’ll hold up my end, you hold up yours. Fifty-fifty.

Kim:
So you’re gonna keep paying for half a law office even though you’re not practicing law?

Jimmy:
Call it aspirational thinking.

Kim:
Okay, but how are you gonna pay for it?

Jimmy:
[inhales deeply] The day I don’t show up with my half, that’s the day we’ll talk about closing this place.

Kim:
…That’s fair, I guess.

[Kim and Jimmy, drinking at a bar, spot a mark for Viktor and Giselle]

Kim:
We are here to meet a celebrity who's donating to my charity.

Jimmy:
Kevin Costner. I will go stand in that corner, you point me out—You're meeting Kevin Costner.

Kim:
What? You don't look like Kevin Costner.

Jimmy:
Uh, I look exactly like Kevin Costner. People are always coming up to me, saying they loved me in Bull Durham.

Kim:
No, not once.

[Jimmy suddenly notices a blowhard abusing a waiter]

Jimmy:
That guy. How de we get him?

Kim:
What do you think? The—the trick with the coin you told me about, or the counterfeit bill?

Jimmy:
No. That guy's a real asshole. He needs to go down hard. Here's what we're gonna do: We're gonna sell him a worthless credit card for $5000. Here's what you do: Make eye contact with him. It's all it'll take for him to think you're interested. I'll act good and drunk, and he'll... think I'm a loser and try to steal you away. He will persist. Tell him you can't leave me, not yet. Let him know you're trying to roll me. He'll want in. He'll help you ply me with booze. Now, you take my wallet, you lift the card... following this?

Kim:
...We're not actually doing this, right? We're just talking.

Jimmy:
...Yeah. Just talking. [beat] What?

Kim:
It's... nothing.

Jimmy:
It's not nothing, what?

Kim:
I keep thinking... was there another way?

Jimmy:
"Another way"? Chuck? Is that what you're talking about? Kim, he had us in a corner, okay? We did what we had to do.

Kim:
But Rebecca—

Jimmy:
Everything that happened was his own fault. Everything. You put him in the rearview mirror. He is not worth thinking about. Done.

Nacho:
Really?

Mike:
He called me... for obvious reasons.

Nacho:
Look, I'm not here to rip him off. He has the stuff, right?

Mike:
I need to know what you're planning.

Nacho:
What's it matter to you?

Mike:
I know they're for Salamanca. Nitro pills. Your boss has heart problems.

Nacho:
You already got it all figured out. Why are you asking?

Mike:
How are you going to make the switch?

Nacho:
[sighs] Hector keeps the pills in his coat pocket. When he hangs up his coat, I'll make the switch.

Mike:
Hm. He goes down, then what?

Nacho:
His heart goes out, that's it.

Mike:
Lot of eyes on Salamanca. You do this, how are you going to stop them from finding out it was you?

Nacho:
Are you trying to tell me not to do this?

Mike:
I'm not telling you anything. Just want to make sure you know what you're getting into.

Nacho:
I'm not "getting" into anything. I'm in it. I've got no choice. Hector wants to use my dad's business. My dad is a straight-arrow, he won't stand for it, which means he goes to the police, which means... he's a dead man. And that's not happening.

Mike:
You get caught, it could get worse.

Nacho:
You don't think I know who I'm dealing with?

Mike:
No. I don't.

[Mike goes to Nacho's van and takes out the gas cap]

Nacho:
What are you doing?

[Mike pries open the gas cap to find nothing inside, then puts it back]

Mike:
There are more people than the Salamancas to worry about here. Now, if you manage to pull this off without a bullet to your head, and switch those pills... then switch 'em back.

Nacho:
"Switch them back." Why?

Mike:
Anyone gets an itch about the medicine not working, they're gonna check those pills. You do this - switch them back.

Nacho:
...So. You gonna let us make this deal?

Mike:
You got the money? [Nacho takes an envelope out of his pocket] Good. Now, before we do this, I'm gonna need one more thing from you.

[Mike takes out his notebook and clicks his pen]

[Jimmy makes an appointment at the Santa Rosa Insurance Group to meet with Ms. Valco, a malpractice insurance agent.]

Ms. Valco:
Hey there. Come on in.

Jimmy:
Yeah, hi. I called quite a few times about an issue I'm trying to address.

Ms. Valco:
Do you know your policy number?

Jimmy:
No. Can you just look up my name, McGill?

[Ms. Valco types into the computer.]

Ms. Valco:
Charles McGill of Hamlin Hamlin McGill?

Jimmy:
No, that's my brother. Um, I'm Jimmy. James McGill, solo practitioner.

Ms. Valco:
Hmm, there you are. Looks like you're all paid up through the year.

Jimmy:
That's sort of the issue. Long story short, through a series of unfortunate events, my license has been suspended.

Ms. Valco:
Yes, I see that here.

Jimmy:
Right. Well, I was hoping I could get a refund for the time I won't be a lawyer. Now that's only fair, right?

Ms. Valco:
I'm sorry, Mr. McGill. It doesn't work like that. We don't refund for unused malpractice insurance.

Jimmy:
[sighs] But it's—it's a lot of money, for nothing.

Ms. Valco:
I understand it seems that way, but if one of your clients decides they want to bring a suit against you, this continues your coverage.

Jimmy:
[snaps his finger] That's the thing. My clients, they love me. And they would never bring a suit against me. I'm extremely lovable.

Ms. Valco:
I can see that, but it's company policy.

Jimmy:
[beat] What about we put the insurance on hold? And then if someone were to try to sue me—which they won't—then we just, uh, kick that old policy back into gear?

Ms. Valco:
I understand your situation. I do. But there are rules preventing us from stopping and starting coverage. And I regret to inform you that when your license is reinstated next year, because of the suspension, your premiums are going to go up. Considerably.

Jimmy:
How considerably?

Ms. Valco:
[pulls open a file drawer] Ummmm... Looks like roughly 150%.

[Jimmy is visibly shocked by this news. He stuggles to contain his emotions. Tears start to well up in his eyes.]

Ms. Valco:
Mr. McGill?

[Jimmy exhales and begins to weep.]

Ms. Valco:
Oh, I... Mr. McGill, I'm sorry. I wish we could help you, but we just can't.

Jimmy:
I'm sorry. It's hard. Very, very hard. I'm just having a rough time. I just need a break. Just one break. I know... I know you can't do anything. I'm getting run out on this community service, and getting ripped off left and right, and my car won't start. My gal is disappointed in me. My brother... my brother is sick! And he's alone. I spent years caring for him, and now he hates me. The only family I got left and he hates me. He hates my guts.

Ms. Valco:
Is this your brother Charles? [Jimmy nods] Oh...

Jimmy:
I pretend not to care, but he's my brother. How can I not? He's mentally ill. He's...he's holed up in a house with no electricity. He's working by the light of gas lanterns, wha—? He's making mistakes with his clients, he's mixing up numbers on important documents, he... he... he had a complete mental breakdown at the bar hearing.

Ms. Valco:
Your brother, had a breakdown in court?

Jimmy:
It's in the transcripts...

[Jimmy continues sobbing as Ms. Valco reaches for post-it notes and begins writing something down.]

Jimmy:
I... I'm really worried. I just... If he screws up with one more big client, I... It's just gonna destroy him. [sees Ms. Valco writing notes about Chuck] No, don't... don't write. What are you writing? No, don't write...

[Ms. Valco gestures and puts down her pen.]

Jimmy:
I... I didn't mean to say that. I don't want him to get in trouble with you guys 'cause of me.

Ms. Valco:
Right.

Jimmy:
I... Um, sorry. I'm gonna go. You're not gonna do anything, are you?

Ms. Valco:
I—I wouldn't worry about it, Mr. McGill. Please feel better.

Jimmy:
I'm sorry. Just, um, forget...

[Jimmy leaves Ms. Valco's office. As he walks away, a smirk grows on his face.]

[Jimmy and Marco break into the McGill's abandoned corner store to set up another con during their reunion. Jimmy retrieves a Band-Aid box from the ceiling and empties a pile of rare coins onto the counter]

Jimmy:
[picking up a coin] Boom! Indian-head penny! Alright, that's worth about three bucks; we polish it up, run the coin game.

Marco:
Nice. We get a hundred fifty bucks, easy.

Jimmy:
Hundred and fifty? We got a hundred ten for a plain vanilla half-dollar. This-this is actually rare—I mean, you can see it, y'know! Three hundred, easy.

Marco:
Oh, three hundred. Me likey. Now you're gonna tell me what your coin collection was doing up there.

Jimmy:
Uh... [huffs] It's a long story. Let's get out of here.

[They freeze as they hear a police car drive by.]

Marco:
Alright, now let's hit it.

Jimmy:
No, there might be another one.

Marco:
Alright, then give. What's the deal with the coins?

Jimmy:
[chuckles] Well, uh... I was what, 12 or so, and I was working the register. Guy comes in, buys a box of Ivory Flakes and a sixer of Old Style. He pays with a couple bucks and [holds up coin] this. Second I see it, I know what it is: It's a George Washington silver. I tell my dad, "Pop, this quarter is rare, it's worth four bucks." Barely get the words out of my mouth, he hightails it outta here to give it back. He can't find the guy, so he tapes it to the side of the register; he's hoping that this guy will come back, so he can return it! After about a week, he starts talking about giving it to Father Mahoney for the poor box, so I make it disappear. Then after that, every day after school, I'm checking the till. If something catches my eye, I stick it in the box, put it up there for good luck. [clears throat] So much for good luck.

Marco:
It's a crying shame they lost this place.

Jimmy:
They never should have bought it in the first place. My dad didn't have it in him.

Marco:
...What do you mean? Your folks worked so hard.

Jimmy:
Yeah, they worked hard; they worked a lot of hours for a lot of years for nothing.

Marco:
I dunno, Jimmy. Y'know, a lot of customers, everyone liked him.

Jimmy:
Everybody liked him 'cause he was a soft touch. Y'know, every deadbeat in the neighborhood owed him money. You come in here with a sob story, you leave with a pat on the back and a gallon of milk. He could've made it work. He could've sold beer and cigarettes to the kids from Mary Margaret's but... heh, oh no, not him. [sniff] He was never gonna do what he had to do.

[At his community service, Jimmy overhears his supervisor turn down someone's request to leave. Jimmy comes up to him]

Jimmy:
Hey buddy, you wanna get out of here? How much is it worth to you?

Freddy:
What?

Jimmy:
To ditch this. How much?

Freddy:
Leave me alone, yo.

Jimmy:
Come on, you wanna get to your deal, or what?

Freddy:
Look, man. I was just trying to see my sick kid.

Jimmy:
Heh. You're trying to sell something you shouldn't have to someone who shouldn't be buying it. [Freddy glares at him] Hey, no judgements, alright? A man's gotta make a living. I'm just saying, the way you make yours rhymes with "mug mealer."

Freddy:
What are you, a narc?

Jimmy:
I'm the guy who's gonna get you outta here and let you keep your hours.

Freddy:
Yeah?

Jimmy:
Yeah.

Freddy:
How you gonna do that?

Jimmy:
Let me worry about the how, okay? You just... seven hundred bucks and you're gone.

Freddy:
Man, I don't have seven hundred bucks.

Jimmy:
Yeah, you got a couple grand in your sock.

Freddy:
...Seven hundred bucks, and you can get me out of here? [Jimmy nods] Alright. You can do it, you've got a deal.

Jimmy:
Okay. Go pick up trash, go on.

[Jimmy lies down on the ground and waits for his supervisor]

Supervisor:
The hell's this?

Jimmy:
Resting. Uh, hurt my back.

Supervisor:
...Get up.

Jimmy:
Nope. My back's killing me.

Supervisor:
Suit yourself. You're not getting your hours.

Jimmy:
I'm pretty sure you're gonna give me my hours.

Supervisor:
Oh yeah? How do you figure that?

Jimmy:
Because if you don't... I'm gonna sue you.

Supervisor:
Hate to break it to you, smart guy, but you signed a waiver.

Jimmy:
I signed a waiver with the city, but I'm not suing the city. I'm suing you! Personally!

Supervisor:
You can't do that.

Jimmy:
Buddy... this is the land of the free and the home of the lawsuit. [gets up] I sure as shootin' can. And you know what? Uh, I think I'll bring [points to Freddy] that guy in with me and make it a class action thing.

Supervisor:
What's he got to do with it?

Jimmy:
You knowingly prevented him for visiting his child in the hospital. If that isn't intentional infliction of emotional distress, what is?

Supervisor:
That's crazy—

Jimmy:
Crazy hasn't even started. I can also sue you for failure to approve community service hours. That's a direct violation of your duties as an agent of the state of New Mexico.

Supervisor:
I'm only doing my job-

Jimmy:
And just for tickles, maybe I throw in failure to treat and mitigate damages suffered by me due to injuries sustained under your watch.

Supervisor:
Injury?

Jimmy:
My back.

Supervisor:
You're full of shit! The waiver clearly-

Jimmy:
That waiver's gonna make swiss cheese look solid. And in a personal lawsuit, it's a fart in the wind.

Supervisor:
You're never gonna win that.

Jimmy:
Maybe, maybe not. In order to find out, we gotta do some math. Let's see: A lawyer's gonna cost you about 90 bucks an hour, you're looking at eight to twelve months of litigation, minimum.

Supervisor:
I-I'll represent myself.

Jimmy:
Great! Bring it on. You got a car? You got a house? A pension? Kiss it all goodbye. Look, out here you might be King Douchenozzle, but in court, you are little people. Look, the judge and I, we'll gladly spend the next five years in the courtroom, but for you it's expensive. It's very, very expensive, it's third mortgage expensive! So, I'm offering you a simple choice: You can go to your wife, you can explain to her that you're about to lose your job, your pension... whatever pinhole of a reputation you've got at the bowling alley on Glow-Ball Sundays, or let my friend here visit his sick daughter in the hospital and you can let me rest my back on this sacred, now litter-free, New Mexico soil. Oh, and we keep our hours.

Supervisor:
[pause] Fine. Asshole. [to Freddy] Well, go on. Get out of here.

Freddy:
[to Jimmy] Hey, man, that was some Jedi mind shit right there! [gets cash from his sock] Best seven hundred I done ever spent! Here you go, I'm out.

[Jimmy counts it, then lays back]

[Chuck and Howard are in a meeting with their insurance providers]

Howard:
Let me understand you: You're proposing to double our premiums on every one of our practicing attorneys?

Insurance Rep #1:
We know this is abrupt. New issues have come to light.

Howard:
"New issues"? You mean Mr. McGill's testimony at the Bar?

Insurance Rep #1:
That's a part of it, yes.

Howard:
After twenty-five years of paying full premiums, I can count on one hand the number of our claims.

Insurance Rep #2:
This is an underwriting decision. That's all. You shouldn't take it personally.

Insurance Rep #1:
In some special circumstances, we have been known to extend a rider.

Howard:
What kind of rider?

Insurance Rep #2:
A senior, management-level partner who would supervise Charles' work, attend court and client meetings with him, review filings...

Insurance Rep #1:
The few times we've done this, it's been for clients with a high probability of catastrophic health failure as a precaution.

Howard:
What you're saying is that for any case Charles takes on, another partner would be tied up as well, and we don't bill a penny more?

Chuck:
This is ludicrous. The insurance industry is heavily regulated. I can think of a dozen infractions right here off the top of my head!

Insurance Rep #1:
Mr. McGill...

Chuck:
You’re hoping we’ll either find another carrier or cut you an enormous check; win-win for you. I assure you, neither is going to happen. What will happen is very simple: You’re going to do right by us, or we will compel you to do so.

Insurance Rep #1:
What do you mean by “compel”?

Chuck:
You know exactly what I mean.

Insurance Rep #1:
If you’re threatening litigation, I’m afraid this meeting is over.

Chuck:
Then it’s over.

[Howard lets the insurance reps out and turns off the lights. He then grabs a bottle of whiskey and some glasses from the minibar]

Chuck:
Alright, where do we begin? Francis should start digging into regulations—I’m sorry, I don’t have the code sections at my fingertips just now. Let’s pull a team of associates and get them looking at every angle of injunctive relief. Before close of business, we’re gonna hit Santa Rosa with a demand letter that’ll make their heads spin, heh! Odds are, inside of a week, they’ll be sitting at the table again, and if not, well... we’ve never shied away from a fight.

Howard:
...Chuck, do you remember Al McConnell?

Chuck:
Of course. Hell of a litigator. Retired now, isn’t he?

Howard:
He’s a professor at UNM now. Wrote a fantastic book on SCOTUS during Reconstruction, fascinating stuff.

Chuck:
Okay?

Howard:
I was talking to him. And he mentioned he’d love you to come speak to his 1Ls, maybe make it a regular thing if you wanted.

Chuck:
[snorts] What are you talking about, Howard?

Howard:
What I’m saying is... maybe it’s time to hang up your spurs. Become partner emeritus. Leave your name on the firm, but focus on your legacy. You always said you wanted to work on the Commerce Clause; you can write the book on it.

Chuck:
And no longer be a practicing lawyer.

Howard:
[beat] Chuck, there’s more to life than this.

Chuck:
That day is far in the future, Howard, and I don’t appreciate the suggestion.

Howard:
...What if it’s not a suggestion?

Chuck:
Meaning?

Howard:
Meaning, if enough people tell you that you’re drunk... maybe it’s time to sit down.

Chuck:
You want me to retire over this? Insurance?!

Howard:
It’s not just the insurance; that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Chuck:
Oh, so this is about my condition? Look! Look! [turns on the table lamps and picks one up] You see? See? I’m better! Howard, I’m fine!

Howard:
[stares coldly at Chuck] ...This is not what “fine” looks like. [Chuck puts the lamp down] Chuck, you’re one of the best legal minds I’ve ever known, hands down, but your decision making has become unpredictable. I can’t be partners with someone whose judgment I don’t trust.

[Chuck storms out]

Chuck:
Lawsuits. Threats. Recriminations. This is a situation no law firm wants to be in. It's—Well, it's embarrassing. I know we all want a swift resolution here... so, what are our options? Take it to trial? Expensive, and extremely damaging to HHM's reputation. Not my first choice. Or yours, I imagine. The firm could choose to buy me out... for an amount that is almost certain to bankrupt it. I spent decades building this firm. I don't want to be the agent of its destruction. There is a third option; there's no reason we can't put all this unpleasantness behind us and continue on as we have been. I'm willing to let bygones be bygones, and if you agree... I think we can settle all this right now with a simple handshake.

[Chuck holds out his hand to Howard]

Howard:
[pause] ...Would you all give us the room for a moment?

[HHM's partners exit the boardroom]

Howard:
Seventeen years. Eighteen in July, actually. All those years we built this place together. And all that time I've supported you. Looked up to you, deferred to you. Because I always thought you had the best interests of the firm in mind.

Chuck:
I have!

Howard:
Mnh. You did. For a long time. But you've let personal vendettas turn your focus away from what's best for HHM. You've put your needs first. To our detriment.

Chuck:
I don't think that's accurate.

Howard:
And the moment that I mildly suggest, with empathy and concern, that maybe it's time for you to consider retirement... the first instinct you have is to sue me?! To sue the firm? Well, I... I—I don't even know. I—In what world is that anything but the deepest betrayal of everything we worked so hard to accomplish? In what world is that anything but the deepest betrayal of our friendship?

Chuck:
Howard, I could argue that you're the one who betrayed me—

Howard:
That's bullshit. And you know it. This is pointless.

[Howard hands Chuck an envelope]

Howard:
Here. Just take this.

Chuck:
$3 million?

Howard:
The first of three payments, as per the partnership agreement.

Chuck:
The firm can't afford this. Are you... [surprised] ....you're not shutting down, are you?

Howard:
I would never endanger the firm. This is mostly from my personal funds. And a few loans.

Chuck:
[astonished] You're paying me out of your own pocket.

Howard:
[pause] You won.

[Jimmy is stunned to see working electrical appliances in Chuck's house]

Jimmy:
How... ?

Chuck:
I always told you I'd get better. You just never believed me.

Jimmy:
Sure I did. [pause] But Chuck... this is great! How did you do it?

Chuck:
What was it you wanted, beyond proof of life?

Jimmy:
Oh. Uh, s—something happened, and it made me think about what—what went down between you and me. And so I wanted to say in hindsight, I could have made different choices.

Chuck:
Is that so?

Jimmy:
Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying it's all on me. It's not. But if I had to do it all over again, I would maybe do some things differently. I just thought you should know that.

Chuck:
That you have regrets.

Jimmy:
Yeah. I have regrets.

Chuck:
...Why?

Jimmy:
Why? Because you're my brother. There aren't that many of us McGills left and, uh, I think we should stick together.

Chuck:
No, why have regrets at all? What's the point?

Jimmy:
What do you mean?

Chuck:
Well, look at you. You're in so much pain. Why are you putting yourself through all this?

Jimmy:
Because I wanted to tell you—

Chuck:
That you have regrets. And I'm telling you, don't bother. What's the point? You're just going to keep hurting people.

Jimmy:
That's not true.

Chuck:
Jimmy, this is what you do. You hurt people over and over and over, and then there's this show of remorse.

Jimmy:
It's not a show.

Chuck:
I know you don't think it's a show. I don't doubt that your emotions are real. But what's the point of all the sad faces and the gnashing of teeth? If you're not going to change your behavior, and you won't...

Jimmy:
I can change.

Chuck:
...why not just skip the whole exercise? In the end, you're going to hurt everyone around you. You can't help it. So stop apologizing and accept it, embrace it. Frankly, I'd have more respect for you if you did.

Jimmy:
What about you, Chuck? Hm? You didn't do anything wrong? You're just an innocent victim?

Chuck:
Let me put your mind at ease, Jimmy. You don't have to make up with me. We don't have to understand each other. Things are fine the way they are. Hey... [puts his hands around Jimmy's shoulders] I don't want to hurt your feelings. But the truth is, you've never mattered all that much to me.


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