Bottom, Series 3

Eddie:
Right, so your philosophy is... bollocks?

Richie:
: Yes!

Eddie:
Well that's an unusual philosophical stance.

Richie:
: Yeah, I think I put my trousers on too quickly just now. But stick to the point, Eddie, I thought we were talking philosophy?

Eddie:
Well, we were, but your philosophy is bollocks!

Richie:
: So let's talk bollocks!

Eddie:
BUT THAT'S ALL WE EVER DO!

Richie:
: So let's do what we always do!

Eddie:
Oh god, and so it goes on, day after day, year in year out, slime in this ear, slime in that ear, don't you ever yearn for change?

[Huge applause from the audience]

Eddie:
Alan Rickman eat your heart out! [towards Richie] And cue.

Richie:
: [Looks at the audience who seems to have taken Eddie's side] Right. Wanna give me the feedline again in front of all your friends?

Eddie:
[Laughs to himself] Yeah, sorry. I... I forgot to mention I was actually born in Southampton! It's good to be home!

[Another huge applause]

Richie:
: Oh, Eddie, Eddie, you were born in Southampton? WOW! Why did you ever leave?

Eddie:
That was a bit below the belt. [thinks of a comeback] Because... I found the railway station!

[Another huge applause]

Richie:
: [towards the audience] Stop fucking clapping! [imitates them] Bastards! [towards someone in the front of the upper circle] Especially you! You oughtta fucking jump!

Eddie:
That's no way to talk to my mother [towards the audience] Sorry Mum.