Brickleberry, Season 2 (2013)

Ethel:
So, what's this big important news?

Connie:
Yeah, Woody, what are we doing...[gunshots] uh!

Malloy:
Yes!

[Ethel gasped]

[bubbling; healing]

Ethel:
Oh, my God. She's completely healed.

Connie:
And my rash is gone.

Malloy:
I wonder if it cures bitch.

[bubbling]

Ethel:
I think my hymen just grew back.

Malloy:
Don't worry. It'll be gone after happy hour.

Woody:
Rangers, old Woody has discovered a miracle. As you can see, this lake cures any ailment, from the common cold to cancer.

Steve:
You could have just told us.

Woody:
Yeah, sure, but this way was more fun.

Steve:
How were you sure it would work? Connie could have...[gunshots] uh!

Malloy:
I could get used to this.

Ethel:
There must be a scientific explanation.

Woody:
Yeah, asshole, there is. I was chosen by God to heal the sick.

Ethel:
And another reason not to believe in God.

Woody:
The Lord works in mysterious ways, and right now, he wants me to be rich. Sick people, lost souls, deep pockets, blah blah blah. Religion equals money! Now, we've got a lot of work to do.

Malloy:
Work? You were supposed to take me snowboarding today.

Woody:
Sorry. No time, Cubbykins. Daddy is God's prophet now, and I do plan to profit.

Malloy:
Yeah. Another scam that'll blow up in your face. I want to shred the slopes like Shaun White. He gets lots of ass for an ugly woman.

Steve:
Shred the slope? You've never even seen snow.

Denzel:
Wait. You've never seen snow?

Malloy:
Could somebody explain to the diversity hire that bears hibernate? That means sleep for a long time, Denzel, something you should be familiar with.

Steve:
Take it easy on Denzel. He's had a rough day...[gunshots] uh!

Connie:
What's wrong, Denzel?

Denzel:
Ever since I was a little boy, I had a dream. And then, I realized that dream. And now...[gunshots] Shit!

Ethel:
Sorry, I couldn't listen to any more of that.

Malloy:
God, this would be so much more satisfying if that lake wasn't there.

Woody:
Connie, Steve, go round up every sick, gullible, emotionally needy, dumbass, lonely loser with a bank account. Denzel, Ethel, take Malloy up the mountain to snowboard. Stat!

Ethel:
So, that's it? You're gonna exploit this lake?

Woody:
Exploit the lake and help the sick and disabled. Imagine what they'll do with a new lease on life.