Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 4

[Doug Judy, the Pontiac Bandit, and his foster brother George have Jake and Holt at gunpoint.]

Jake:
What the hell, Judy? I thought we were friends!

Doug Judy:
I don't know why you thought that.

Jake:
Because you kept saying we were! We had hard plans to go to Niagara Falls!

George Judy:
So bro, you friends with this cop?

Doug Judy:
No. This thirsty-ass bitch just desperate for attention.

Jake:
"Thirsty-ass bitch"? Okay, Captain, now I know you're gonna step in to defend me.

Holt:
Well, you were begging me to compliment you earlier.

Jake:
Oh, my God, this is the worst day of my life! Where's Charles?

George Judy:
So if you're not friends, you won't mind if I waste 'im, right?

Jake:
Of course he minds! I mean, sure, we're enemies, but in a playful way. Like Tom and Jerry. Oh, my God, was Tom trying to eat Jerry? My whole life is a lie!

Doug Judy:
Shoot 'im.

Jake:
No, no, no! Those can't be my last words! Uh, ¡ay, caramba!

[George Judy pulls the trigger, but his pistol dry-fires.]

George Judy:
The hell?

[Doug Judy slams his pistol into his foster brother's head, knocking him out.]

Doug Judy:
Whoops. Looks like someone forgot to put bullets in his brother's gun.