Call Me Kat, Season 1

[First lines of the series]

Kat:
Oh. You're early. Or I'm late. Either way, hello. I'm glad you're here. Let me, uh, get you caught up to speed. Earlier in the week, my mother came to me in a panic.

Sheila:
Katherine?!

Kat:
Mom, you scared the tea out of me.

Sheila:
Tara's renewing her vows. I wanted to make sure you're okay.

Kat:
Why wouldn't I be okay?

Sheila:
Because your best friend's getting 2 weddings, and you've never had one. (whispering) And you're 39.

Kat:
(whispering) Why are we whispering?

[The scene cuts right to Kat in the kitchen with her coffee on the table.]

Kat:
Oh. Thought I had more time. My mother's been extra worried about my single status since my father died, which was super hard on both of us.

Sheila:
(crying) I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

Kat:
(crying) I think I want to open a cat café.

[The scene cuts right to Kat talking about a cat café.]

Kat:
So, I did. I quit my unfulfilling job as a math professor, and I opened Kat's Cat Café, where I have 2 great employees who are super helpful.

[The scene cuts right to Kat, Phil, and Randi at the cat café.]

Kat:
Whoever thinks of a good name for our new cat, gets an extra paid sick day.

Phil:
How about pudding, 'cause I could just eat him with a spoon?

Randi:
How about firework, 'cause it looks like one exploded in his ass?

Phil:
Ooh! I like that.

Kat:
That's pretty good.

[The scene cuts right to Kat sitting on the couch with her pet cat.]

Kat:
I think he's purr-fect. Now on with our show.