Call Me Kat, Season 1

Kat:
I need to cancel my membership.

Kyle:
Do you want to transfer your membership to another location?

Kat:
Do I want to eat glass for fun? The answer's no. I just want to cancel.

Kyle:
Well, we require a 2-month notice to cancel, and you just joined last week.

Kat:
Here's the thing, Kyle. I joined this gym because I thought I was gonna get my picture in the paper. But it turns out, that's not happening. And that's okay because I also realized that your jingle just doesn't apply to me, because I was the me, I've always dreamed of, before I started coming here. So, I know this is hard on the both of us, but you got to let me go, Kyle.

Kyle:
Sorry, the cancellation clause is very clear.

Kat:
Okay. Well, I'm, I'm guessing there were some other clauses in there, too, as well. Like an inappropriate conduct clause which might require you to kick somebody out if they say, uh, threw all your pens on the floor. Or, uh, uh, what if I sexy-danced with every gym friend that comes in here? Like this gym friend. You need a sexy dance. You need a sexy dance. You need. No? No? Okay. Still nothing? Uh, what if I were to, uh, start doing the dolphin, like, right in the middle of your lobby for no apparent reason?

[Kat imitates the dolphin squeak.]

Sheila:
Katherine?

Kat:
Mother? You're a member of this gym, too?

[final lines]