Dan Vs., Season 1

Receptionist:
Hey, Danny! Welcome back! Let's update your forms.

Dan:
[walks away] It's "Dan" and I'm a grown man with grown man needs.

Chris:
Hey! I'll be over here. [sits down and read a book along with a little boy until Dan shows up] She was cute.

Dan:
She hates me.

Chris:
Were you rude to her?

Dan:
No! A little.

Chris:
Only a little. Wow- that's a big step for you. You should ask her out.

Dan:
Absolutely not! She's in league with the devil, a.k.a. my dentist.

Receptionist:
[voiceover] Danny, we're ready for you now.

Dan:
Call me "Danny" again and you'll be sorrier than you've ever been in your miserable worthless, tooth-scraping life.

Little Boy:
Your son is weird.

Chris:
He really is.