Dan Vs., Season 1

Dan:
Baseball is a contemptible sport. It's not contemptible. It needs to pay. It ruined my TV time, and it broke the side mirror on my car.

Chris:
How exactly?

Dan:
It preempted my stories.

Chris:
I meant the mirror thing.

Dan:
Don't get bogged down with minutiae. Drive me to Washington. I am going to yell at the president of baseball.

Chris:
He's called a commissioner.

Dan:
Oh, commissioner. La-dee-da. I'll have him reimburse me for my mirror and promise never to preempt my show again.

Chris:
How do you plan to do that?

Dan:
Step 1, you drive me to Washington. Step 2, shut up.

Chris:
Okay, I'll go.

Dan:
I don't want to hear your excuses, you miserable— wait, did you say "okay?"

Chris:
Yeah, do you think we could try and get into the World Series? I mean, the last game's being played there in three days.

Dan:
Wait. You like baseball?

Chris:
I really do. Plus I'm on my own this weekend. Elise is--

Dan:
Irrelevant. We go to see the Commissioner. If he won't meet my demands, then you have to break his legs, okay?

Chris:
Uh, no.

Dan:
Fine. 1 leg. Come and pick me up.