Dan Vs., Season 1

Elise:
Hey! What are you doing? I said be discreet.

Chris:
I'm trying to chew quietly.

Elise:
Never mind that. I've found something for you to do.

Chris:
Oh, you're the best.

Elise:
Don't eat that! I just put knockout powder on those. I need you to deliver them to the sous-chefs guarding the vault. Then open the door for Dan. You think you can handle that?

Chris:
[sighs] You know, I'm sorry. This is not how I pictured our anniversary.

Elise:
I have a confession to make. Until you mentioned it, I didn't know today was our anniversary.

Chris:
Wait. Until you mentioned it, I didn't know it was our anniversary either.

Elise:
Is it our anniversary?

Chris:
I don't know. Let's think. What did we do on our last anniversary.

Elise:
We were going to go to a party, but Dan wouldn't get out of our walls.

Chris:
Right. And the year before, we were gonna go to a picnic.

Elise:
And we spent the whole day with the bail bondsman.

Chris:
Yeah, Dan had that whole nun thing.

Elise:
You know what? I's not our anniversary.

Chris:
And do you know what else? I don't care. I don't want to wait for a special occasion to take my beautiful wife out to dinner.

Elise:
You are so sweet. Now go knock out those guards.