Dan Vs., Season 1

Dan:
Your probably wondering why I'm wearing face paint and attacking you with a plastic toy hatchet?

Chris:
Oh, is it "Put on Face Paint and Attack Your Best Friend with a Hatchet Day" already?

Dan:
That's not till January. It's Dismemberfest.

Chris:
Ah, the horror film festival.

Dan:
You got it. Slasher Cats starts at noon tomorrow, followed by Eek! The Murderer.

Chris:
I can't go this year, Dan. Elise's parents are taking us on a camping trip.

Dan:
You have got to be kidding me.

Chris:
Hey, I'm not happy about it either. Although I must admit I don't like those movies anyway.

Dan:
But it's no fun going to slasher movies by myself.

Chris:
Sorry, but I have an opportunity to finally get Don and Elise Sr. to like me.

Dan:
When are you going to learn they are your in-laws-- natural enemies, like sharks and robots?

Chris:
Anyway, we're going up to Lake Sequester - for the weekend, and-

Dan:
Whoa, whoa. Where?

Chris:
Lake Sequester.

Dan:
Oh, you won't go to slasher movies, but you'll go there?

Chris:
Sure.

Dan:
Why not? Are you kidding me? It's where the Hockey Mask Maniac ran amuck 10 years ago. It's the basis for the goriest, bloodiest, most iconic slasher movie of them all, The Campground Chain Saw Unpleasantness.

Chris:
Okay, you should go now.

Dan:
Well, I'm not leaving until you agree to- [Chris lifts him] Hey, let me go! Unhand me, I say!

Chris:
I'm going on the family camping trip, Dan, and that's final. [leaves]