Dan Vs., Season 2

Dan Vs. is an American adult animated television series created by Dan Mandel and Chris Pearson that aired on The Hub from January 1, 2011, to March 9, 2013. The series was about a rude, crude, and scruffy curmudgeon named Dan who tries to get reven… more »

[Dan and Chris are at Hortence's wedding]

Chris:
Oh yes, thank you. [eats the shrimp puffs]

Dan:
There's no time for that!

Chris:
There's always time for shrimp puffs.

Dan:
I need you to tell the Best Man there's a telephone call for him.

Chris:
Mine. Sir, there's a telephone call for you.

Jeremiah:
Hurry back, we're all waiting to hear your Best Man toast.

Chris:
[to a lady who walks up to him] Get your own!

[Dan captures a man as he covers him with a bag and puts him in the closet punching him]

Hortence:
There's my bridesman!

Dan:
Hortence, I need to talk to you. [using the microphone] Actually, I need to talk to all of you. I may not be the Best Man, but I'm the only man for this job.

Jeremiah:
Hello Dan, nice to see you! I heard you were going to be in our wedding!

Dan:
You sir are a fraud!

[everyone gasps]

Jeremiah:
What?!

Chris:
Dan! We're NOT making a scene, remember? We're leaving. As soon as I'm done with these canapes.

[Dan walks up to Hortence]

Hortence:
Dan, what are you doing?

Dan:
I'm sorry, Hortence, but you can't marry Jeremiah Burger. He's been lying to you.

Jeremiah:
I most certainly have not!

Dan:
He has, and I have proof. [shows Hortence and Jeremiah a picture] Ladies and gentlemen of the wedding, Jeremiah Burger has been married, not once, not twice, but 6 times! So, come on. You can cry on my shoulder in the car.

Hortence:
Did you think I didn't know that!

Dan:
Uh, what?

Hortence:
I've met all of his exes. We're friends. That's them right there! [pan to Jeremiah's exes]

Dan:
Oh.

Jeremiah:
This really is unacceptable behavior. Especially from a bridesmaid.

[Dan gets kicked out by 2 men from the wedding]

Dan:
Sheesh. Try to help someone out, and this is the thanks you get.

Hortence:
[comes over] I have never been so humiliated in all my life! You ruined my rehearsal dinner! I thought you were my friend.

Dan:
Hortence, I just need to tell you something before you go through with this. I know you feel the same way about me that I do about you. I I--

Hortence:
[angrily] I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAAAAIN!

Dan:
That's not how I feel about you!

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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