Dan Vs., Season 3

Dan:
Dan's log, 1:03:27 of my imprisonment I have escaped my cell, and am now gathering intelligence. [narrating] First, I have discovered that one can spend great amounts of time in the restroom without arousing suspicion. Though unfortunately, there are limited time-killing activities to be had there. Perhaps not surprisingly, the longer I stay in the bathroom, the less likely anyone is to ask "why" upon my return. So far, my best camouflage has been simply sitting at my desk, staring at the computer screen.

The Boss:
That's what I like to see. Work smarter, not harder.

Dan:
[narrating] Though it's very easy to lose consciousness. [puts his head down and screams] Finally, crude weapons can be forged from the materials at hand and it does provide some passing amusement to use my fellow office drones for target practice. [whispers] Hey! [aims the rubber band ball at the worker] However, those that share my dismal situation are the enemy. There is one enemy, and she is-

The Boss:
[pops up behind Dan] Right behind you.

Dan:
[scared] Whaa!

The Boss:
Get back to your desk!

Dan:
[pops up at Chris' work area] I'm going over the wall.

Chris:
Wha-what? What wall?

Dan:
Catch me! [he falls down on Chris as the computer unplugs]

Chris:
[feeling his stomach] Can't breathe!

Dan:
I'll send you a postcard from freedomville! [crawls away]

Chris:
Ow! Hey!

[when Dan is trying to find a way to escape, he finds The Boss standing in front of him]

Dan:
Ow, Hey!

The Boss:
Can you explain why I found these in the trash can? [drops the files on the floor]

Dan:
Yes, I can. I threw them away because I didn't feel like filing them. [The Boss steps on his hand] Ow!

The Boss:
I really should get rid of you, but some part of me enjoys watching you suffer here.

Dan:
Ow!

The Boss:
So I'm going to give you 1 more chance.