Dan Vs., Season 3

[Dan is on the phone having a split screen chat with a dumb costumer]

Dumb Customer:
Hello.

Dan:
Hello, sir. You are past due on your payment for "Rat Fancy" magazine.

Dumb Customer:
So what? I ain't payin'. You go ahead and cancel my prescription.

Dan:
Yes sir, but we still need to collect payment on the issues you've received.

Dumb Customer:
Nuh-uh. I said CANCEL MY PRESCRIPTION, you idiot!

Dan:
Subscription.

Dumb Customer:
Don't you correctify me! [hangs up]

[Dan press the redial button, and talks to the dumb costumer again]

Dumb Customer:
Hello?

Dan:
Listen up, brain trust. I have your address. Do you understand what that means? I know where you live. Where you sleep. [yelling] AND I WILL FIND YOU, YOU MOUTH BREATHER, AND WHEN I DO, I WILL RAM MY FIST... DOWN YOUR INCOMPREHENSIBLY STUPID... THROAT!

Chris:
Dan!!

Dan:
[still yelling] I WILL GRAB YOUR LARGE INTESTINES... RIP THEM OUT OF YOUR BODY, AND I WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM! [he realizes that everyone is starting at him and The Boss is standing behind him] Ah, personal call.