Dan Vs., Season 3

Dan:
Where did all these farmers' markets come from, anyway? And what are all those things they're selling?

Chris:
They're called vegetables, Dan. You should try them sometime.

Dan:
What about me makes you think I'd have any interest in eating vegetables!

Chris:
They have fruit, too.

Dan:
If I want something sweet, I'll have candy. Like an adult.

Chris:
Look, you can't live on just hamburgers and turkey sandwiches, Dan. It's not healthy.

Dan:
I'll have you know my grandfather lived to be a hundred and 8.

Chris:
Oh? Did he eat only meat and bread, as well?

Dan:
No, but he MINDED HIS OWN BUSINESS! [he realizes that Burgerphile serves broccoli instead of fries] What on God's green earth is that thing? You stay back, deviant! Get away from me!

Chris:
Oh, right! I read about this. In an effort to be more healthy, this month they're replacing the french fries with a different vegetable every week. This week's broccoli-palooza.

Dan:
Come on, we're going to another Burgerphile.

Chris:
Uh, no, it's ALL Burgerphiles. Everywhere. [Dan knocks down a plate of broccoli and heads out]

Dan:
[angrily growls] Timber!

Chris:
Dan! This is not okay!