Dilbert, Season 1

Dilbert:
Good morning, shower!

Automated Shower Machine:
Good morning, Dilbert!

Dogbert:
Hmm, don't you do enough engineering at work?

Dilbert:
Work is just meetings, this is engineering. If this works, someday all showers will be voice activated.

Dogbert [sitting on a stool]:
Is it that hard to turn the knobs?

Dilbert:
It's not that it's hard, it's unnecessary. [To ASM] 99, please.

ASM:
99. [shower turns on at 99 degrees; Dilbert steps inside]

Dogbert [aside]:
400.

[The ASM does nothing]

Dilbert:
Heh-heh, nice try. But the shower is calibrated to respond to my voice only.

Dogbert:
Why, you think of everything!

Dilbert:
I'm cautious.

Dogbert:
That's why you had training wheels on your bike until you were 17.

Dilbert:
I was 14.

ASM:
14. [makes the shower temperature 14 degrees]

Dilbert:
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! [is frozen in a block of ice] 99! 99! 99! [shower goes back to 99 degrees, as the ice melts] Don't do that!

Dogbert:
Where'd you get the voice for that thing? It sounds like the voice for that stupid movie; what was it called, "something, something, a Space Odyssey"?

Dilbert:
It wasn't "Something, something, a Space Odyssey", it was "2001: A Spa-" [cut to the exterior of the house, as the ASM evidently makes the shower temperature 2001 degrees] AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

[back inside, a red-skinned Dilbert wraps a towel around himself, which then catches on fire as he walks off-screen]

Dogbert:
On the plus-side, you look very clean.