Dragon Hunters

[Gwizdo is strapped to a wooden frame covered in maces and axes]

Gwizdo:
Oh boy... I don't like the looks of this... Whatever you're doin', uh, could you possibly, uh, tell me, uh, what's goin' on here?

Lord of Kellmoth Island:
The girl didn't want to share her secret with us. So I thought, since you seem to be friends...

Gwizdo:
Let's not get carried away, we're not that good friends.

[a torturer steps over to Gwizdo]

Gwizdo:
Heh heh, is this all that necessary?

Lord of Kellmoth Island:
Give me the Number 2 Dead Man's Doodlewinger.

[the torturer laughs gleefully and walks away]

Gwizdo:
Zoria, sweetie, you're gonna have to tell him your secret. The little game is over.

Zoria:
But Gwizdo, I already told you, I don't have a secret.

Gwizdo:
[glaring angrily at Zoria] Well then, figure somethin' out! Invent, imagine, envision a secret!

[the torturer brings out a sinister looking black box with a red insignia on it. The Lord of Kellmoth Island opens the box and laughs sadistically]

Gwizdo:
Nooo, don't hurt meee!... What in the heck?

[Gwizdo begins to laugh uncontrollably. Pan to reveal the Lord of Kellmoth island tickling the dragon hunter's bare feet with a feather]

Gwizdo:
No! S-stop! No, no, please stop! I can't take it!

[Lian-Chu and Zoria put their hands to their faces in horror]

Lord of Kellmoth Island:
So?

Zoria:
Oh, but I already told you!

Lord of Kellmoth Island:
Bring me the Number Three!

[the torturer brings a large box containing a feather duster]

Gwizdo:
No!

[the Lord tickles Gwizdo's right foot with the feather duster]

Gwizdo:
Please, have pity! Not that! I've got a- I've got a- I've got a secret for you!

[the Lord stops tickling]

Gwizdo:
Here's the score. We're dragon hunters. Actually, we're the best dragon hunters around. And we're gettin' rid of your pigots for ya!

Lord of Kellmoth Island:
Baloney. The girl gave us the same spiel.

Gwizdo:
It's-it's-it's not baloney! W-we can prove it by mincing up those nasty beasts! Wait! You got nothin' to lose in this deal!

[the Lord starts tickling Gwizdo's left foot]

Gwizdo:
Hey! W-we'll even gut the monsters for free!