Family Guy, Season 13

Quagmire:
You are such a scumbag. You know, when you were poor, you were always a douche, but at least you came by it honestly. But now? Screwin' over the people who helped you?! I don't know how you sleep at night.

Brian:
[sighs] My God. You're right! I'm a jerk. I'm a selfish and pretentious jerk, and you're the only guy in town who's ever called me out on my crap. You know, I used to hate you for it, but now I think you're the only person who is trying to be my friend.

Quagmire:
No, I think you're misunderstanding me.

Brian:
No, I'm serious. Even though I know you never liked me, you still helped me when I needed it. That says a lot about your character. I'm ashamed of myself because I am none of the things you are. You're honest and direct and compassionate and... [his phone chimes] that is 72 hours! Enjoy your craphole, dumbass!

Quagmire:
[enraged] YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! [picks up a lamp and bashes Brian with it, breaking all his teeth and knocking him to the ground]