Family Guy, Season 2

Indian Child:
Stewie, would you like to learn how to wrap a turban?

Stewie:
Why don't you teach it to the Chinese girl? Or perhaps she can learn after her people invade your country.

Indian Child:
Li, would your people really do this?

Stewie:
Oh, try and stop them. And try and stop Pablo's people from using drug money to buy arms from Li's countrymen, who will in turn sell them to Ura's people so they can ethnically cleanse the rest of this nauseatingly diverse grab bag of genetic party favors you call a family. So now you all understand, yes? You all hate each other?

[Children crying and when Peter falls through the chimney]

Stewie:
Oh, Hosanna! It's the lesser of two evils!

Peter:
Oh, hey, kids. I'm Santa Claus. Just practicing for Christmas.

Indian Child:
But you're white. Jack and Sarah told me Santa is Indian.

African Child:
Don't be stupid! Santa is black!

Indian Child:
Santa can't be black. We do not fear him.

Li:
Cram it, Gandhi! Santa is Asian!

Pablo:
How can he be Asian? Santa doesn't drive his sled 20 miles under the speed limit with his blinker on! Go back to your rice paddy, Mulan!