Family Guy, Season 2

West:
"Got milk?" That's a funny one, too. Oh, and uh, "I got ya, diagonally." "Pretty sneaky, sis." That one's also funny. [goes to wash his hands]

Meg:
Mayor West, you've been talking for an hour and I don't have anything I can use in my article. Can you just please...

West:
My God! Somebody's stealing my water!

Meg:
It just went down the drain.

West:
They're crafty, I tell you. [waters a plant] It happens when you least expect it. [to the plant] Show yourself, damn you! I've been investigating him for months. It's cost $150,000 of the taxpayers' money, but I'll find the culprits if it costs me a million!

Meg:
You spent public money investigating this? Thanks. You know, I think I have my story. [leaves]

West:
Your story? Wait a minute. You can't print that! It'll compromise my entire investigation! Well, thank God she's just a figment of my imagination.